Have I Told You About...

Have I told you about Lois H. who I baby sat for and who was very round and who belched a lot?

Back in the early 80's I babysat for a lady who my dad home taught.  Her son was Paul and he would record (on his boom box no less) his burps and farts and then play them for me when I would come to babysit.  He was a rascally kid.  But this isn't about him.  It's about his mama.  Lois lived in a pink house.  At least that's what I remember about it.  Everything was pink.  And she had lots and lots of shoes.  All neatly arranged in her closet in plastic boxes.  The furniture was covered in plastic.  And her son, well, never mind.  Lois drove a little Geo Metro hatchback-type car.  I think it was mauve.  Geo Metros weren't around back then.  Heck, we couldn't even walk away from the wall while on the phone back then!  But it was a little itty bitty round car.  Did I tell you Lois was a round lady?  Well, she was.  She was shorter than I, and I am only 5 foot 2.  She had an afro-like perm to her head, which just added to the roundness.  Any which way you were to look at Lois, she was round.  And her legs were very short.  She sat so close to the steering wheel in the little round car that her very round, um, -ness, met said steering wheel with magnificence.  It was surely a sight to behold.  Did I mention the floor in the house was covered in plastic?

Covered in Awesomeness!

Lois H. was a belcher.  NO.  Not a burper.  A BELCHER!!  She would rip one out, deep and throaty, and then the funniest thing in the world would occur.  In her high pitched Mickey Mouse voice she would excuse herself.

 *****BEELLLLCH*****  excuse me *****BEELLLLCH*****  excuse me      *****BEELLLLCH*****  excuse me

 

It was just the doggondest thing ever.

 

When I burp, pardon me, when I belch, I am most often fond of excusing myself in a high pitched Mickey Mouse voice.  Now you know why.

 

 

P.S.  Is doggondest a word??

Have I Told You About...

Have I told you about my hurting tooth...

Wait.  Remember when I did tell you about my tooth that hurt like crazy cakes back in July?  We were getting ready to go to Lava and I didn't want my tooth to break while in Idaho.  So I went in and the dentist couldn't see anything wrong.  Even in the x-rays. 

Well, yesterday the problem was solved.  My tooth broke.  But wait!  Let me begin again. 

Yesterday I was eating those yummy Brookside chocolate covered pomegranate dealios.  Yum.  I had just gotten some peaches into the freezer in slices and jam.  All of a sudden my tooth was out.  My crown.  But it went right back on.  I spit out what was in my mouth, went pale and called the dentist.  I said my crown popped off.  She said to be there in 45 minutes and they'd glue it back on.  So I'm thinking, this is the problem.  It was just losing its seal and that's why it's been hurting. 

I get to the dentist and apologize for whatever treats are now under my tooth that popped up and then went back down.  I explain the treat I was eating and that it was worth it.  They're that good.  So the dentist is trying with all his dentist might to pull the crown out.  It won't budge.  So he gets this melty stuff and puts it on the crown and tells me to bite down hard and then pull my teeth apart.  That baby is not coming off.  By now, they are all wishing I'd brought some of the pomegranate stuff so I could just pull it out myself.  Again.

Then the dentist starts poking around to see what else is going on.  And he finds it.  It's the tooth behind the crown, the one that I said was actually hurting back in July.  It was broken clean in half.  Long ways.  He numbed me a little and pulled the broken piece off.  They took an x-ray to see about the root.  PLEASE! No root canal.  The root looked good. 

My tooth had cracked this summer, but not where he could see it, or even where an x-ray could see it.  Now my hurt mouth will be healed.  Except I have to have those nasty shots to numb my mouth so they can remove and shape and put a temporary crown on until the real thing is ready. Yuck.

I will be able to eat normally again on my left side.  That is the true miracle of the story.

Have I Told You About...

How about all those times my sisters and, sometimes, little brother, would save our nickels and dimes and walk to the Quick Stop to buy treats?  We had to walk lots and cross a big road to get there.  It was on the corner before you entered the drive in theater.  We would buy these little boxes of candy... Boston Baked Beans, Lemon Heads (the real ones that were hard, none of these chewy, all the fruits in the basket kinds) and Red Hots.  They were only a nickel.  And then we would take the open end and blow into it to make a fun buzzy sound.  They don't make the boxes like that anymore.  And these cost me .25 cents a box. 

My kids would've liked to have lived in the "olden days" when candy cost five cents and the box became a toy.  They just don't have that kinda stuff in these modern times.  So deprived.

Have I Told You About?

How about the time I got kissed by a boy in a van?? 

 

When I was 8 my Primary teacher, Brother Leatham, would pick up all the kids in our class and we would all go to the baptism of the latest class member.  It was Kim Kelly's turn to get baptized, so really I was just barely 8 because it was the beginning of February.  She had a January birthday.  So I was sitting next to Dirk Boren  in the middle seat of Brother Leatham's van.  His daughter Debbie was in the back seat.  We were coasting down the hill and overlooking the valley below us.  It must have been a romantic coast.  Dirk and I were chit chatting and enjoying the veiw.  And then he kissed my cheek. 

*Sigh*

For Valentine's day, Dirk brought me a homemade valentine with pink and red hearts all over it.  It said "I like you, Love Dirk". 

 

*Double Sigh*

 

I don't recall if Dirk and I ever spoke to each other again.  Probably not.  But that's okay.  The memory is ingrained in my brain cells.  Dirk.  Actually I only thought of it because there is a character named Dirk in the book I'm reading to the kids.  So now it's ingrained in your memories.

 

*Sigh Again*

Have I Told You About?

Here's a new type of post I'm gonna try.  I started telling my kids about my childhood experiences and start with "Have I told you about...?" Then I share.  It's been fun.  So I'm going to record those stories here.

So,

Have I told you about when I was in elementary school and there was a Chinese Store around the corner that my sister and I would go to?  Well, there was a Chinese store.  I don't know if it actually had a real name.  They had strange and fun candy for kids like us.  So we would save our allowance and stop by after school to buy something yummy.  We weren't allowed to buy the candy cigarettes or cigars.  But the wax lips, juice filled wax coke bottles and other such novelties were awesome!  

They had these cinnamon toothpicks that I'd buy.  I would suck on the toothpick and enjoy the cinnamon flavor until it was a mushy mess.  Yum.

In Lava, Ruthie found these hotstix on a store counter.  I was so excited to see the cinnamon toothpicks!!  I bought them and have chewed on two of them so far. 

I have to admit.. they have lost their allure. 

But the memories will last forever!

I do believe my parents  told us we couldn't go to the Chinese store anymore.  I don't remember why, but I'm sure it wasn't due to drug busts or nearby shootings.  But when I picture this little store on the street around the corner from elementary school, I don't doubt my parents were worried.