Once Upon A Time...Happily Ever After.

It was a Friday morning. April 30, 1999. I woke up in a different bedroom than usual because all my stuff was in my new house and we had lots of relatives staying over. So I slept in a small bedroom with someone else. I don't know if it was my little brother or my cousin or who. But I wasn't alone.

The first thing I did was go to the window to check the weather. The forecast told a sad story of rain. It was raining. It was gray outside. I sat back on the bed and cried. Luckily the sealing wasn't until 12:45. I had time to take my time.

I soon remembered this was a happy day. Even though my hair was going to flip, I was marrying Daniel. I stopped crying, went downstairs to eat some breakfast, went back upstairs to someone else in the shower. Hello! It's my day. Why is some uncle in the shower?? I got all my stuff together and sat and waited my turn.

When the bathroom became free, I took it. I locked the door and took a long hot shower. I enjoyed my time alone. I did my makeup and then worked on my hair. My hair. I have natural curl which tends to look like a really bad perm when it's humid. I had gone to my hairdresser the week before for a trim, but for some weird reason, my hair was just unruly. I tried to put more curl in it with a curling iron so the weather wouldn't reek quite as much havoc. I really didn't like it. It was just wrong. But there was just nothing I could do about the humidity. I wasn't in control of that. So I figured the only thing I could control was my emotions. So I sucked it up and hairsprayed away!

I got dressed in my sleek navy blue dress that made me look so slim it made me want to cry again. I had all my stuff packed and ready to go. I headed downstairs to the bustle of all my relatives getting ready and eating. When my grandma saw me she said, "Oh, isn't she gorgeous!?" I did my best to not comment on the hair situation. My mom and dad and grandma and grandpa and whoever else wanted to come, came into the living room with me. My dad gave me a Father's Blessing and I cried. My dad cried a little. I was his oldest child. I was his last daughter to get married. They would now be stuck with all my brothers. I would have cried about that, too.

When it was time to go, I got into my parents' car and headed out to Bountiful. It was rainy and gray. Daniel planned to meet us at the temple and he didn't disappoint. I loved him so much and it could have rained a hard rain all day long for all I cared. We went inside and got dressed and then Daniel and I got to sit in the Celestial room until it was time. We got to sit in there for a very long time. I don't know what was happening, but we enjoyed just sitting together. A man came up to us and asked if we were getting married today. We said yes and he said that there is a look about a couple who are waiting there to be married. We had the look.

It finally came time for us to go to the Sealing room. When we got there, all of our family were there waiting for us. Daniel and I held hands, I cried, Daniel's hands were sweating. So I kept wiping my eyes with tissue and Daniel kept wiping his hands on his pants. All I got from the sealer talking was that today we were beginning a family. Until the end when he said we were Mr. and Mrs. You Know Who.

YAY! YIPEE! YAHOO!

We were husband and wife. We were married. We were hitched. We could now begin our life TOGETHER! Oh Wait! Pictures. In the rain. We had hired the photographer, so I guess we should use him.


We came out of the temple to everyone cheering. Reverently, of course. When Daniel kissed me my aunt called out, "Kiss her again!" So he did. Then she yelled it again. He did again. The photographer took 4 pictures of us kissing in front of this door.
It rained. The photographer said rainy days are the best for photos. We got to use his big umbrella. With my off white dress and the white in the umbrella, those pics just look funny. But we got some really good shots under the covered parts of the temple. Do you think we could have even stopped smiling?!

We had a luncheon for family and friends after we left the temple. It was in a church and after we all got there, the fire alarm was going off and no one could figure out how to turn it off. It went on for quite a while until they got a hold of the right person to come fix it. Daniel's sister Lisa organized the luncheon. The theme was bears because they just couldn't "bear" to see Daniel single anymore. Etc, etc. We had a really nice lunch and got to hear from Daniel's brother, his grandma Shelba, my sisters and then Daniel and myself. I don't know what anyone said. I was Mrs. Daniel and we still had to get through the reception. Time was moving a bit slowly! We got to the reception and had to change back in to wedding dress and tux. But hey, we were married. So we got to get dressed together. Wierd! We got more pictures taken all around the JS memorial building.

Calla Lilies are my favorite flower. I love them. So they were my wedding flowers. We had a beautiful reception. Our line didn't end until my mom grabbed us and told us it was time to cut the cake. She was determined that the bride and groom should NOT wait for late comers to come greet them. The time is clearly stated on the announcement. You are late, you don't get to greet. So we cut the cake and then at 8:30 on the dot, we ran out of the reception room to the dressing room. People cheered and laughed as we ran out. We were ready to be done.

We changed into street clothes and met some newly arriving guests at the elevator. I don't think they recognized us because of the jeans and t shirts. We arrived at our car that had confetti in every imaginable place and snakes and tp. We arrived at our hotel for that night that has since been torn down and the Valet asked if we would like him to clean out the car. Of course!

I think I will end there. Except to say that confetti came streaming out of the air vents for weeks. And several months later we found more confetti when moving one of the sun visors.
So that is the story of us. After all the dating horrors, I had the best guy in the world. And he had the best and beautifulest gal in the world. As we celebrate 10 years of Us, we are grateful for so many things. We have 3 AWESOME kids. We have health. We love each other even more than our wedding day. We have had trials that have made us stronger and more in love. We are happy and we are living. So I guess that with a story book beginning we should have a story book ending. But it seems so abrupt to just say we lived happily ever after. The point is...we are living!!

Daniel...I love you! I am so glad I married you. You are the best dad and the best husband. I love that you adore me. I love that you love to just be with our family. I am looking forward to eternity! I love you!!

Once Upon A Time Part 22

We began the fun hunt for furniture and appliances for our new home. Dan started to talk about all the land we had and that he'd like to get a calf to raise for beef. I was not thrilled with this idea. We were already going to be out in the middle of nowhere and have lots of room between houses and now a calf?! I am a city girl. Give me a freeway in my backyard and smog and lots of lights and noise. That would make me happy. But I was going to marry a country boy. Lots of land, lots of calf, lots of quiet.

It was shortly before the wedding that I asked Dan about his name. I had noticed that all of his family called him Daniel. He introduced himself to me as Dan so I never thought about it too much. But it was obvious his family had a strong tradition of calling people by their full name. He said he would like me to call him Daniel. So I do.

We had our appointment for our engagement pictures which would go into our wedding announcement. When we went in, the photographer said we were really cutting it close. It was about 4 weeks before the wedding and he didn't think it was enough time. We took pictures anyway and they came back quickly and nicely. So the announcements went out and everything was ready.
I had stopped working for Dave sometime earlier. He had hired someone to take my place and then told me about it. He did make arrangements for me to office manage for another agent. So I went to work there for 2 weeks. It was fun I tell ya! If you see me in person, ask me what the agent asked me about being married in the temple and how that would affect our inimate relationship. She was so fun to work for. I was only there for 2 weeks. I then began my unemployment history that I still enjoy today. In just a couple of weeks I would call myself a Stay At Home Mom In Training.

Those 2 weeks were filled with decorating my new house, moving all my stuff there. Moving all of Daniel's stuff there. Making last minute efforts on the wedding plans. And just being glad I was done with dating and not knowing where I would be or what I would be doing for the rest of my life.

Goodbye Polygamist guy, Wife beater guy, Craig who couldn't commit, the guy whose name I never got, Mike the prom jerk, Regional dance cologne guy. Farewell to Disagreeable guy who just liked to disagree with me, Guy who couldn't keep oil in his car, Cheap Date guy, Victor who wrote to me for two years telling me he loved me only to just....not. Goodbye and good riddance to all the guys who took my time and energy without leaving a good impression. I was never going back. I had found my T.O. (The One). I had made the decision to be single the rest of my life only find the love of my life.

Obviously, at this point in my life, everything was in place just as well as can be expected. April 30 was the day. We had a house, a plan, a nice picture of us for our wall and lots of love. We had plane tickets to spend 10 days in Hawaii for our honeymoom. I was ready to make the man of my dreams a reality in my arms.

Only one more episode left! Join me on April 30, 2009-our 10th anniversary, for the Wedding Day Bliss!

Once Upon A Time... Part 21

I had realized that my plans for a single life had to be rearranged. I was really disappointed that I wouldn't be able to work in the temple. The time was closing in to start my training. My mom said they would be more happy to know I was getting married than upset that I couldn't work there. So I called and told them I was getting married and would be moving to another area and wouldn't be able to work there. She thanked me and offered congratulations.

Dan and I had talked about where we would live. Dan's brother was building a house and he suggested maybe we get an apartment and then build. Umm. No. We talked about living close to where I worked so I could work until we had a baby. I said no thanks. His job was the one that would be long term. So we began an online search for a house closer to where he worked.

I had told Dave, my boss, that I was getting married at the end of April. I also told him my long termness as his office manager would be coming to an end. He was ticked. I could tell. But the guys that I worked with told me to just ignore it because he would be able to find someone else. Yep. I'm so easily replaced.

Dan found a couple of homes and went to look at them while at lunch. He showed me one that was just recently built and needed a family. It was beautiful. It had an acre of property. It was a rambler with 3 bedrooms and a basement. It was just a couple of miles from his office and seemed perfect. He also showed me one that was a house with 3 different apartments in it. Um.
When he took me to see the house I fell in love. I knew this was where we would live. I loved the house. I loved that there was a big yard. I loved Dan!

We made an offer the same time as another family. I didn't see a need to look for another house. This was my house. We just needed to wait for the other family to realize this and move on.

They did. Our offer was accepted and we bought the house. YAY!! I was so excited.

We were home owners. We had a wedding date and everything was going smoothly. Dan had a lot of hair and we were both just so skinny. Everything was progressing smoothly and we were so happy. Life was good and we were not even started yet. Until next time...

Once Upon A Time... Part 20

We decided we would get married in the Bountiful temple. It was right in between our parents' houses. There was a dilemma, though. Dan's parents and sister and my brother wouldn't be home from their missions until September. That was 8 months away! Dan's parents couldn't leave the mission for a wedding unless they wanted to just end their mission early. This really put a damper on our plans. We knew it was right to get married and the more we talked about a date, the harder it was to plan to wait until September or October. We went to the temple together and prayed and fasted about what to do. We decided that we needed to get married. Soon. We weren't getting younger, you know!

Dan told his parents. They were disappointed to not be able to be here. I think they may have been even more upsest about it than they let us know. I cried about it for quite a while. I still have guilt even now. But this was about starting our life together. We would miss them. We would miss having Shelba and Alex there, too. But we needed to get married.

We decided on May. I called to make an appointment in the Bountiful temple. No openings in May. I knew June would be a crazy month. So what does a girl in love do? Go earlier. How about April? April 30? Okay. Sounds good to me. Considering it was February, we knew we needed to get on the ball. The date was set and other arrangements were now being made.

I called the Joseph Smith Memorial building to book a room for the reception. We are firm believers in our family that the family should actually enjoy the reception. It would be such a long and tiring day, anyway. So my mom always gets great deals on flowers, cake and dresses so we can have a reception center and catering. Then we can sit back and enjoy the day. I got a room booked and ready to go for the evening of April 30.

My mom's good friend said she would give us a really good deal on a cake. Done! We went to a florist that did my sister's wedding. Oh! Calla Lilys. That's all. Just Calla Lilys. Simple. My colors are black and off white. Perfect!

My mom and sisters had made a game of getting wedding dresses for as cheap as they could. Considering you only do this once, the cheaper the better. So we headed out and actually couldn't find anything! Lots of fluff. I'm not a fluff kinda girls. Lots of bows. I need to not accentuate the area where the bow would go. We looked through the clearance holiday stuff. We found the perfect top. It was off white (perfect) and had beading all over it. It was heavy! It fit. It was $50. Sold!

My mom made a skirt in the same color to match. I bought shoes to match. It was perfect. I didn't want anything in my hair. You see, the regular wedding day fair was just not my thing. I didn't like the white puffy marshmallow dresses with bows and a huge veil. I had a hard enough time making myself thin without all the fluff to make me, well, fluffy. I would actually have just worn black! That's slimming! The main thing was that I loved what I got. This would be the most important day of my life thus far. With a string of pearls for my neck and a wrap of pearls for my wrist, I added the pearl earrings that my 3 sisters had already worn on their wedding days. Everything was perfect.

Once Upon A Time... Part 19

The next morning I wanted to look my very best. No one in my ward knew yet that I was engaged. Now I even had the ring to show off. I ran upstairs to show my parents my ring. Sparkly! They were happy that this was a good match. I chose an awesome black dress to wear. I was ready to take a shower. The power went out.

Why, oh, why, power gods?? Why this particular morning are you choosing ME to descend upon? Don't you know I need to wash my hair? I need to smell good? I need to look good? My hair doesn't work well without power to use my hair dryer! Please, give me some power!

I took a shower. I cried. I put my makeup on. I cried. I kinda got dressed. I cried. I whined to my parents. My dad, knowing this meant a lot, and perhaps knowing what my hair would look like if it air dried, offered a solution. "Hey, how about if I plug the hair dryer into the car?" Oh! Relief! I dried it. I tried plugging my curling iron in. It was still a little funny. But it would do.

Daniel came and got me. I looked as good as I possibly could considering the circumstances. My mom wanted a picture....
See how young we look? (What 10 years can do to a couple) On the very bottom of the page is the date...January 31, 1999. Our first date was January 2, 1999. But it was right and we were happy! (Still are!)

We left for church. I went up to sit on the stand to lead the music and the 2 guys that were speaking that day were on the stand already. The one, Dave, looked right at me and said, "Let me see the ring!" I was surprised! We hadn't told anyone there yet. Then the other one, Craig, yes, Craig, of "I'd marry Jennie if I had to" fame, looked at the ring and was a little taken aback. I was the proud momma of a fiance and ring!


When I started leading the opening hymn, I made sure my left hand was positioned just right so all could see. A friend of mine saw the sparkle and looked at me with a look of complete surprise on her face. I loved it.


We got through the rest of church explaining how quickly it had happened and when we were hoping to get married. There were congratulations from all quarters. We were the couple of the day. Of course, in a singles ward, you have only a short space of time before another couple claims the fame.


First of all, I don't know how it happened, but many people knew I was engaged and that I got the ring the night before. How in the world did that happen? To this day, I don't know how so many people knew. Second, I watched all the gals come in to church that Sunday, and not one of them looked put out that the power had been out. It was back on when we got home, but I never knew what had happened. It's all behind us now. Now we move on the the planning!

Once Upon A Time... Part 18

All week we talked to each other every day. During lunch. In the evening. That is if he didn't come down to see me. We were so happy and so ready to get on with it. We just needed that ring!

On Saturday, I drove up to Dan's house and we left for our day of meeting his family. We started with his sister Jennifer. She was very nice and didn't say anything about thinking I was pregnant! I met her family, too. Then we drove up to Logan to meet Lisa. She's Dan's oldest sister. We stayed and chatted for a while then had to move on. These were all quick meets. We then drove up to Idaho. Malad is where Dan's parents grew up and met. Dan had spent all his childhood summers there working on his grandpa's farm. I met his grandma Shelba. She was so sweet. She had made a roast and potatoes and lots of other food for lunch.

Now I feel the need to insert something here. I was taking a medication for my kidneys that made me gag. It was nice to be losing weight, especially now that I would be getting married, but I gagged all the time. I love food. I love to eat. But I gagged when I tried eating anything. Plus I was nervous.

So his grandma served me some food and I mostly picked at it. Normally that wouldn't be the case. But I tried to eat what I could. She noticed. She said to Dan, "She doesn't like my food!" I said, "Oh no, It's wonderful. I just am not that hungry!" She tsk tsk'd me. What else could I do? I gave Dan a look of "help" and he said we needed to get back on the road anyway.

We had been out all day. It was getting close to dinner time. Dan had said that morning that the ring was ready and we needed to get back down to Layton to get it before they closed. All day I was willing him and daring him to drive faster. "Can't we just go meet the rest of them tomorrow?" "No, they have been waiting all week to meet you!" But I had been waiting almost 28 years for this ring!!

We got to the next to last stop. I knew it was too late. Dinner was over and the store would be closing. I tried not to cry. We walked up to the door. We were at the house of his other brother, Richard. Also, Deanna and her family were there. So we had introductions all around. Then the doorbell rang. Someone went to open it and I hear, "Special delivery for Jennie.." I turned and went to the door. There in the doorway was Clark, Deanna's hubby, with a huge bouquet of red roses. I went to get them and then turned around to Dan. He was on his knee with a little black box in his hand. I started to cry! He said, "Jennie, I love you and want to spend eternity with you. Will you marry me?" I cried more and said, "Yes!!" I handed the roses to someone and gave my future husband a kiss. Or two. Or three...

He put the ring on my finger. It was perfect! I showed it to everyone and we stayed just a bit longer. We still had one more sister to visit. The last visit of the day went well, too. It was late and they got their kids out of bed to come meet me. His family was just wonderful. I liked them already.

At Dan's house, we said goodnight. He wanted to come to church with me again in the morning. We would be showing off the ring there, too. I drove home and watched all the freeway lights hit my ring, making it glisten! I was happy, we were official, and this was the best time of my life.

Once Upon A Time... Part 17

Monday morning. Dan and I had agreed that we would look for a ring this week and when we got the ring we would tell people. I guess when I sat down to eat breakfast, my mom could tell something was going on. She sat down and said, "You and Dan seem to really like each other. What are you going to do?" Hmmm. For about 2 seconds I thought. Then I said, "We're gonna get married." Then I couldn't stop giggling. She asked what happened and what our plans were. I said I didn't even know what happened and I only knew we would get a ring the next night and then get married. I went to work and knew this was going to be a hard secret to hold on to. And I didn't know how long it was going to take to get a ring. I could be bustin' at the seams for weeks. Months.

When I got to work and saw the two guys I worked with, I had to work hard to keep a straight face. In the short time I had been working there, 2 weeks, I had made it known that I was in this for the long haul. Well, I think that's about to change. I blurted out to the guys that I was engaged! They were so happy for me and asked if we had set a date and then they wanted to see a picture. Ummm. First of all, this just happened late last night. Second, I have only known this guy for less than a month. Were we supposed to have pictures already?? I told the guys that I didn't want to say anything to Dave, our boss, yet. They agreed to keep quiet. They understood the position I was in.

Meanwhile, Dan had no idea where to even start looking for a ring! So he, too, broke the "don't say anything yet" law. He called his sister, Deanna. "Where do I get a ring?" She went out with him that night to look around different jewelry stores for an idea. That night we talked on the phone and I said that I had told my mom and the 2 guys at work. He said that he'd told his sister and a gal at work. So we decided it would be better to just say we are engaged and show off the ring when we get it. So we started making the rounds of calls to the most important people. I called my sisters and my grandparents and some of my friends. Daniel told his brother and his family who were living in his parent's house with him. They were so excited! They had Daniel's name for Christmas just a month earlier and had given him Realm cologne. The kind with human pheramones. So he could get a girl. Apparently it worked.

Then he called his mom and dad. They were in Vietnam and were a little cautious about his announcement. They had no idea who I was or who my family were or anything. This was quite a turn from the Christmas phone call when he wasn't dating anyone. It was now January 22. They asked lots of questions and gave Dan their blessing as long as he kept them up to date on everything. They said they would talk to their Mission President about being able to come home for the wedding. This was it! He was ready and I was the one. Daniel then called all of his sisters and other brother. One sister was silent for a minute, then blurted out, "What did you do? Is she pregnant?" I know, it's a little out there. But Dan hadn't been dating anyone at all. And now he was engaged?? I'm not sure how that means I could be pregnant, but it was a quick assesment of the situation. He quickly said that I wasn't and that we had met at Christmas time and were going to get married.

So now that people knew, I needed to tell my boss, Dave. On Tuesday, I told him I needed to talk to him. When I told him, he was excited and then wanted to know when and how it would affect my job. I said we hadn't set a date, but I would keep working there for as long as I could. I'm pretty sure he started right then to make arrangements for a replacement.

Tuesday night came!! So exciting!! I drove straight from work in Provo up to Kaysville in 1 hour. Maybe I shouldn't broadcast that, but I was in a hurry. I met Stephen and Nicole and their cute kids. I had already talked to them and their oldest daughter on the phone after Dan told them. Jessiqa was so excited to meet me and had a little note for me. All she wanted for her uncle Dan was that he get married and be happy. He was!

We got in Dan's car and drove to a jewelry store near the mall. He had looked there with Deanna the night before. We looked at all the settings and I found a couple that I loved. Dan said to just pick which setting I wanted and so I did. The big gold band with a spot for a diamond and little diamonds to border the gold. I fell in love with it. Then we got to look at diamonds. Wow. I had never seen so much sparkle! We picked a size together that we thought would look terrific in the setting. Then it was just a matter of sizing and setting and picking up and making our engagement official!

All week I kept asking Dan if the ring was ready. No. Not yet. They will call me and I will call you. Okay. But I was antsy! Dan made arrangements with all his siblings and grandma to bring me around on Saturday to meet them all. Oh wow! It would involve a drive from Layton to the Ogden area to Logan to Malad, Idaho back to Layton. I was ready to meet them all. I just wished I would have my ring by then...

Once Upon A Time... Part 16

That night I had a smile on my face that could never be erased. I was happy. This was it! He would be mine and I would be his. My sisters had left and the rest of the family had gone to bed. I went down to my room and swooned just a bit. I was in heaven and Dan was my angel. As I lay in bed, knowing I wouldn't get to sleep soon, I thought over the last almost 12 years of dating.

My first date was my junior prom. He didn't have his license yet so I drove his mom's car. He ended the evening by standing on his tippy toes, rocking back and forth asking, "Do I get a good night kiss?" The relationship ended when he yelled ugly remarks across the school courtyard to my good friend. There was the one who would be at every Regional Dance just to dance with me. I always knew when he sent a letter to me because a 10 foot radius around the mailbox would reek of cheap cologne. At one of the dances he requested King For A Day by Thompson Twins and dedicated it to me. There was the one who I was set up with just moments before they were to leave on a group date. We played pool then went to a play. After the play he asked me what I thought was the oddest question. "In your opinion, what was Christ's best quality?" I realized after he took me home that I never even knew his name. There was the one who asked me out and with every question he asked me, he would disagree with my point of view and say awful things about my opinion on the matter. He was very upset when I said I didn't want to go out with him again. There was the one from work who had to pull over every 10-15 miles to put another quart of oil in his car. He talked a lot about hunting and dead stuff. There was the one who took me to see Legacy and talked about how he and his friends could do a better job than the prophet. I called him on blasphemy and asked him to just take me home when he asked if I wanted to get something to eat. There was the one I wrote to on his mission for 2 years and when I went back out to California to see him, made eyes at my sister's friend who had come to keep my sister company while I went on a couple of dates with him. I drove all the way back to Utah myself and played The Carpenters really loud over and over just because I knew she hated it. There was the one from my ward who was a fun friend and who I knew was much younger and who I knew kinda had a crush on me. He took me to a concert in the park and we talked about how long we'd been home from our missions, and I said I'd been home a couple of years. He said in a slow voice,"How old are you?" I said I was 26. (He was 22) The rest of the date went not so smoothly and friendly. There was the one who I went out with a few times. He got a cold and stopped calling me. I took a "get better soon" basket with tissues and hot cocoa and meds in it. He wouldn't come to the door. I never saw him again. There was the one who actually asked me out 3 times, even though he never went out with a girl more than twice. He had told our Bishop he would marry me "if he had to". Whatever. There was the one that was a polygamist. There was the one who beat his wives.

Now there was Dan. My dark brown eyed angel, Dan. Dan who thought I was wonderful yet knew I had so much potential. Dan who knew that creating a family would be tough yet who would do whatever it took to get our family here. Dan who thought my nose was the cutest nose he'd ever seen. Dan who loved to listen to the sound of my voice when I taught Gospel Doctrine and wanted to ask me out just to hear my voice again. Dan who knew that without me, he would be lost and alone forever!

Once Upon A Time... Part 15

Sunday morning I got up and dressed my best and was upstairs to wait for Dan. The morning was going slow. I went over my lesson to make sure I had my head on straight. The doorbell rang. Yes! He's here. We needed to go, too. It was almost 11.

I had to sit on the stand in Sacrament meeting because I led the music. So he sat by himself. I think I came down to sit by him after the Sacrament until the closing hymn. I mean, how could I not! I loved that he was there, that he was him and that he was there for ME!

I taught my lesson and was only slightly, okay, tremendously, distracted by my smiling brown eyed angel who was watching me. He seriously just smiled through the whole lesson. I loved his smile. His eyes twinkle when he smiles. We split up for the third hour and I missed him. I watched the clock, willing it to move faster. 2:00 finally came and I met him in the hall. Smiling. Twinkling!

I had him come into the room where we would have choir practice and showed him where the tenors sat. He went out to talk to a guy he had met in class and it disturbed me that he had left the room! He soon came back in smiling and twinkling and sat down. I noticed many of my choir members glanced at the new tenor. All I could do was smile. I probably twinkled a little myself.

As we practiced, we watched each other. I had hope that Dan's superior tenor singing voice would lead my tenor section to new heights. Inexplicably, they still struggled. They seemed to even struggle a bit more than usual. Maybe they were all just thrown for a loop by the most handsome of all men that joined us that day. Hmmm.

It was finally time to go. Home. Together. We left together for my house. Aahh. I introduced Dan to everyone who was already at my house. Parents, brothers. I had told him to bring a change of clothes and we each went to get out of our Sunday go to meetin' duds. Soon after, my sisters and their families started to arrive. They all shook hands with Dan and sized him up. Remember my track record. They were all curious as to what made him tick. Dan played basketball with the guys and we had dinner and made light conversation with family.

After dinner, Dan and I went to the basement to talk and watch a movie. He again asked if he could put his arm around me. Yes, my dear. I don't remember what we watched, but we didn't watch for long. We talked. A lot. We talked about our families, our dreams, what kind of life we each wanted, how many children we wanted, where we wanted to live, what kind of home we wanted to raise kids in. It went on for a while. Neither of us can remember how we got to the end it got to. But it got there. The conversation moved around and around until we got to the point. We wanted the same things. We had the same goals and dreams. I told him that I wouldn't be able to have a lot of kids because of the Diabetes. I wanted to adopt. (This was a big deal and a deal breaker for me) Dan nodded his head and said, "We can do that. I'd like to do that" He asked me if I would stay home with our kids. I said yes, of course. (The deal breaker for him was if I didn't want to raise our own children) We decided that doing these same things together would be a great idea. We talked about which temple we would get married in and when would be a good time to get married. I was laying down on the couch next to Dan with this arms around me. I turned to look at him and said, "Does this mean we're engaged?" He looked at me with those dark brown eyes and said, "Guess so!" We smiled at each other.

This was it. This is what we had both been waiting for. All the turmoil of dating (yes, turmoil of dating!) and the agony of wanting something and never quite getting it. It all culminated in this moment. Dan said, "I think we should kiss." You got it! We did. Wow!

We decided we needed a plan. We also needed a date. First we needed a ring. We decided that we wouldn't say anything to anyone until we had a ring. We planned for him to come get me on Tuesday evening to look for a ring. Oh, yes, I would choose my own ring! We planned to tell our families when that ring was on my finger. It's funny how things never really go the way you plan them to.

It was getting late. We walked upstairs and we held hands. Oh, yes! I held his hand. At the door he said he would be there Tuesday to get me. He kissed me and said he loved me. I was a little taken aback by such a statement. But it was a wonderful statement. And it was exactly how I felt, too. "I love you, too." He kissed me again and said good night. Good night.

Once Upon A Time... Part 14

Dan came to pick me up for our fourth date. I was determined at this point to be more obvious about what I wanted. Him. Dan had made reservations for the Macaroni Grill. I suppose he was determined to take me there. When we got there, they said it would still be a 45 minute wait. Oh man! So we walked over to a neighboring furniture store. It smelled of leather couches and Dan's cologne. We just meandered through the store looking but mostly talking.

We found a beautiful black leather chair. We took turns sitting in it. Mmmm. Comfy. We just sat there and talked and then a clerk came over to ask if we were there to buy or just look. I remember looking at Dan and thinking, "One day, we'll be in a furniture store to buy! Together!" Just the 2 of us. We said we were just looking and the clerk moved on to find a buyer. Dan looked at the chair closely and said he would buy it if he had a way to get it home. He had a small car. I was impressed. Oh Yay!, I thought, we'll have leather furniture and stuff.

I'd like to insert here that we do not own anything leather at all. One day, though, I will have a vehicle with leather interior, leather couches, leather counter tops, leather toilet seats and leather pants. Wait, not counter tops. What was I thinking??

We finally decided it was time to head back to the restaurant. Bummer. The chair was so nice. We ate and decided it would have been better to go somewhere else. It was ok, just not worth 2 weeks of date wait! But the talk while we waited was nice. So was the view.

We went back to my house to watch a movie then. My parents and youngest brother were there and said hi to my dream man. We picked Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark to watch and headed to the basement. We cuddled under a blanket and the movie became background noise as we ki... talked! ( I'd like to insert here that I have previously referred to myself as Chastity's Poster Child.) We talked. He asked if it was ok to put his arm around me and I said yes. We cuddled and then a voice appeared from no where.

Adam. My brother. He wanted to meet Dan. Dan got up and went to shake his hand. Adam looked at Dan's stature and said, "Do you play basketball?" "Yes." "Good, we'll have to play sometime."

Awesome. I told Dan I was teaching Gospel Doctrine on Sunday and what I was going to teach. He said he would like to come to hear me teach again. Of course. I asked him if he'd like to just stay for dinner after and play basketball with all the guys. Of course. I told him I had choir practice after church and he was welcome to come to that or just come back to my house to wait for me. What kind of dumb invitation was that?? Come to my parents house to wait without me? Whatever. He would come to choir and asked if he could sing with us. Of course. What do you sing, I ask? Tenor. Wonderful! I need more tenors!

When he left that night he gave me the tightest, best hug at the door. I was twitterpated! I was falling for him fast! I was excited he would be with me at church the next day. Oh, what should I wear?? Doesn't matter! He liked me no matter what! I told my mom to expect one more for dinner the next day. I think she was excited he would be coming. Actually, all of my family, upon hearing that he would be there, was thrilled he would be there. I think they were all thinking the same thing I was. This is it!

Once Upon A Time... Part 13

I need to pause the story and back up a little on this week that just passed. Dan had been doing some research of Diabetes. He was worried about going on in this relationship if this little thing I've got would cause tragedy and woe later on. After all, why continue a relationship if it's not the right one? Was I the right one? He got as much information as one could possibly get without drawing attention to oneself. He finally decided that it didn't matter. I was worth it!

Each of us, on our own time and in our own way, knew by Saturday that this was it. I was his T.O., he was my T.O. We each spent time in the temple, praying and Dan did lots of fasting. (I can't fast) So we both were on the same page but still not saying anything out loud. And especially not saying anything to each other. But Saturday awaits.....

My mom asked if I was going out with Doug again. Um. Doug? You mean Dan? "Oh, I thought his name was Doug!" Nope. Always been Dan. Lovely, lovely Dan. She asked if things were getting serious. This was just our third date coming up. Maybe she sensed what Dan and I had already decided. This is it!

Saturday night came and he came to the door to get me. As soon as I saw him I KNEW he was The One! No denying it! I said goodbye to my parents and we were off. He smelled so good. He looked so good. He was definitely my T.O. He wanted to take me to the Macaroni Grill, a new restaurant. When we got there the wait time was horrendous. We were hungry. So we went to Marie Calandar's instead. As we walked through the parking lot, we were walking close to each other and I wanted to just reach out and hold his hand. I didn't know what to do. Would he think I was way too forward? What if he doesn't even like holding hands? What if he didn't want to hold my hand?

Then we were going inside. Darn. Opportunity gone! But, I knew that I would get to hold his hand sometime. Especially if he were feeling the same way I did! That would be my goal!

We were seated and we just talked. Although this time it got a little more personal. We got on the subject of quirks. You know, the weird little things that we do that maybe no one really sees or knows about. He outlines things with his eyes. Very strange. I do everything in evens. Even stranger. Hmmm. Maybe I'll share that strangeness with you sometime. Not now. There are other things to discuss. We talked for a very long time. Finally it was time to go.

We went to what was the 49th Street Galleria. I think it was the Fun Dome, though. Now it's a pet center. We played Miniature Golf. We talked and talked and Daniel won. I let him. I'm nice like that. I figured I would stroke his ego. Cause I'm really good at miniature golf. Stop snickering!

We played some video games then we decided to go. We went back to my house to talk. Again. We talked for a long time about lots of things. I knew I wanted to talk to him forever. When it was time for him to go, he gave me a hug and said he'd call me Sunday. He did. Then he called me Thursday to plan a date for Saturday. This was definitely what I wanted. Everything felt right. Everything was right.

So what will happen next?? Another date? Then another date? Then another? And on and on? Or will we finally say out loud what we were screaming inside? This was the greatest time of my life. I had only just met Dan 20 days earlier. And I had known for just days that he really was The One! So what will the next weekend bring for us?.....

Once Upon A TIme... Part 12

The next morning, my mom asked how the date went. Wonderful. Incredible. I love him. Ok. I just said the first one. I asked my dad what he thought. This brought out the thoughtful side in him. He went back about 2 months. Yep. This all happened within a 2 month period. He said Ken was odd. There was something really wrong with him. Uhuh! Got it! Jim was too smooth. Too oily. Uhuh! Got it. Dan, well now Dan was different. My dad liked Dan. Said Dan was nice. Thought he looked like Jim Carrey. I could definitely go out with him again. Thanks. Don't mind if I do.

This was my official last week at Discover Card. I had given my two weeks the week before. My team leader wondered if it had something to do with Jim. Wellll... No. I just need to move on with my life. This was a huge step in that direction. I spent the week saying good bye to people I had worked with for so long. I fear change and was nervous about what was a big step in my life.
At the same time, I was so excited about this new guy. I didn't have any weirdness when I thought of him. Maybe he was my T.O. But if he wasn't, it was ok. I would be ok.

Thursday came and he called. Oh. To hear his voice. I got all giddy again. We talked for about an hour. He said he would come get me at 6 on Saturday. A second date. This time it would be just the two of us. I liked that idea.

Friday night. I had a date with a guy named Craig. I had gone out with him a couple of times. I don't remember why I thought going out with him would be ok, considering my plan. Maybe it was because my Bishop had told me during the Ken stuff that Craig had told him that, "if I had to get married, I would marry Jennie". Serious? Then why didn't he ask me out more? Why didn't he get serious with me? What was he thinking telling the Bishop that when he knew darn well the Bishop would tell me? Weird! (See, I attract weird ones!) Anyway, because I was going out for a third time with him, my mom said that angels must be singing in heaven because I had told her I wouldn't ever go out with him again because the Bishop said he never dated a girl more than 2 times. (Run on, sorry!) I must have been special! Oh, wait. He would marry me if he "Had To". Whatever. I felt like I was cheating on someone! Oh, yeah. I had met this brown eyed angel...

6:00 Saturday, January 9, 1999. Our second date. Oh, so exciting. He said he had heard of a Mexican restaurant in neighboring Draper, called Guadalahonky's. I'll eat anywhere you want to eat, handsome. Good thing I like Mexican. We sat, we ate, we talked. A lot. He was the easiest to talk to of anyone I knew. I really like talking to him. He filled me in on more of his life. I filled him in on mine. I told him I am a Diabetic and take insulin. It's a second date tell all for me. That's when I figure I'll weed out any wimps. He asked a lot of questions, but didn't seem deterred. I told him I was starting a new job down in Provo on Monday. I was nervous. He talked me through my nerves and got me excited about it.

We then drove around the Murray area looking for something. A bowling alley. On a Saturday night. We couldn't find one with open lanes. So we went to a theater near my house and saw The Prince of Egypt. You know, the Disney version of something. (This is a date we went on often while engaged (Yes! We got engaged!!) and while married until a little person joined our duo, making us a threesome that no longer went to the theater.) He brought me home...

I asked him if he wanted to come in. He smiled that smile and said yes. My parents were in bed and my brothers must have been, too. The house was dark and no one was up. We went to the family room and sat and talked. For hours. Since he lived in Kaysville and we were in Sandy, he finally decided to head home. Darn. He gave me a hug and said he would call the next day. He did.

On Sunday night he called and soothed my nerves again. He told me to take some Ibuprofen when I went to bed so I could relax. He was excited for my new job and was super supportive. When we finally said good night, he said he would call me again on Thursday to see how it was going and he asked if we could go out again on Saturday. He was methodical if nothing else. Oh, yeah! And handsome. And nice. And great. And Wonderful...

Monday started with a new job in Provo. I was excited. I went in and did a great job. I impressed. I told my new boss again that I would be there for the long haul. No sense telling him I met this gorgeous guy and hoped to marry him some day. The day went well. I had a whole new language to learn...insurance in Spanish. I could talk the gospel, but this was all new to me. During the week, I had a co-worker teach me how to talk Spanish insurance and started to get it down.

All week I worked, learned and dreamed. There was a distraction in my thoughts. It took over me. I couldn't wait till Thursday so I could talk to Dan and go through my first week at work with him. When Thursday finally came, I rushed home through 6:00 rush hour to get that phone call. When he called I told him all about my week. He was impressed with my ability to speak Spanish and to use it in my work.

We made plans for Saturday night and it was all I could do get through Friday and Saturday. Finally 6:00 came and I was ready for action!

Once Upon A Time... Part 11

The doorbell rang. Willie, the dog, went wild with barking. I answered the door. He came in. Oh my! He looked so good. He smelled so good. My dad shook his hand and I introduced them. "Dad, Dan. Dan, my dad." My dad mentioned his height and asked if he played basketball. (It's one of the prerequisites.) Dan said he did play. Goodnight, dad. He didn't keep me there. I could feel this was going to be different from any of the myriad of other dates I had had since my teenage years. And certainly far better than the last 2 guys. He opened the car door for me. Larena was in the backseat. We said hi, etc. We then went to pick up her date, another guy from our ward.

We planned to go to Olive Garden for dinner. We got there and the wait was about an hour. Bummer. We walked over to the mall by the restaurant to waste time. Larena and her date walked into stores and laughed and goofed off. They were having a great time. Dan and I sat on a bench and talked. He said he didn't like shopping. He really didn't like malls. I agreed. Wow. Our first official topic alone and we are in complete agreement. We watched Larena and her date and kept talking about this and that. It was finally getting close to time to get back to the restaurant.

We were seated and ordered. We all just talked and laughed and had a good time. When we were done, we decided to go to Larena's house to watch a video. We planted ourselves on the couch and watched Zorro. Dan and I just sat and watched. Every once in a while we said something to each other. I was just enjoying being next to him. I think he would happily say he felt the same way. I was so cute, after all!!

When the movie was over, Dan and I left. Larena said she would take her date home. It was nice to be alone again. We got to my house and he got out to walk me to the door. He just smiled. Oh, kill me now! I love that smile. And those eyes! I wanted to ask him to come in, but it was after midnight and I didn't know if it was appropriate to ask him in. He said he'd call me next week. We said goodnight.

Next time, I would invite him in. No matter how late it was!

Once Upon A Time... Part 10

How did she know? Well, I was grinning from ear to ear. That may have tipped her. And, of course, the yearning she had that I meet my T.O. (The One) and get married. "Yes." She asked about it. I told her. I was giddy. I couldn't wait till 5!

At 5:01 the phone rang. I answered. Oh. This is so exciting!

"Hello."

"Hi, Jennie?"

"Yes!"

"How are you?"

"I'm fine, how are you?"

"Great! So I thought I would tell you a little about me. Is that ok?"

"Yes!"

"I grew up in Kaysville. I am 28 years old. I'm the 6th of 8 kids. My mom and dad are serving a mission in Vietnam. I have a degree in Computer Science. I work for Oracle. I served a mission in California. I have never been married. I don't have any kids. I am the favorite uncle. I have a current temple recommend. I just used it 3 weeks ago. I am the membership clerk in my ward. I worked on my grandpa's farm every summer growing up....." He just spilled. Then he said, "I figured I would let you know all that considering your last dating experiences. I'm a nice guy."

The first thing that caught my attention was that he was much older than I thought. 28. Yes!! He's tall and he's older. I love this already. He asked if we could go out with Larena and her date on Saturday night. Yes! He would come pick me up at 6. He said he would call on Friday, January 1, to make sure we were still on.

I was hooked! This was already better than any other dating experience. And we hadn't even gone on a date! I told my parents. They were a little nervous, especially my dad. I didn't have a good track record in this area lately.

Friday came and I was up early just in case he called early. He didn't. I was a little bugged. Why didn't he call? Finally, the phone rang. 1:30. He just woke up. Late night shenanigans for New Years Eve. He actually was surprised that I wasn't out shopping. No, just waiting for your phone call, handsome. We talked for a little while. We settled our plans for the following night and I couldn't have been happier. I loved talking to him.

Finally Saturday came. My heart sang. Dan was coming for me this evening. Oh, joy! I had butterflys in my tummy. I could just barely get anything done. I had already picked what to wear. I won't go into that because it doesn't matter. He didn't tell me to dress up. There were no nuances of ettiquette and dress standards. I was ready.

I had asked my dad to be there when he came to get me. I told him to just grab my arm and say I wasn't going to be able to go if he could see this was a creep in the doorway. I knew I could count on my dad. We were there together in the entryway when the doorbell rang.

Once Upon A Time... Part 9 (enter "goofy guy")

Amidst all these fantastic changes in my life, I had the biggest change of all come. As I said in part 1, I was the Gospel Doctrine teacher in my singles ward. And I was the music chair and led the choir (which we'll discuss later) and led the Sacrament music. I had a lot of callings! The Sunday before Christmas, 1998, I was teaching. I noticed this really cute guy there. I hadn't seen him before. He looked young and I figured he was just home from a mission. 23 years old, tops! He had a fantastic smile. And those eyes!

Wait!! What was I thinking?? I was so over that! He was surely too young anyway. In my lesson, I talked about my 2 recent dating experiences. I don't know what it had to do with the lesson, but it fit. And it set some things in motion.

I always brought a treat when I taught. (Oh yeah, I was the favorite teacher!)When I went to pick up the treat basket after class, this guy was just sitting there smiling at me. He said hi. I said hi. Oh, how I loved that smile. Oh! Dang, wake up, Jennie!!! But, those dark brown beautiful eyes! We aren't doing that, remember?? You are single, you have a plan, you are finally happy!

Really? Oh, yeah, right. I went home and thought about the cute guy from Gospel Doctrine only once a day the rest of the week. The next Sunday was December 20. The choir sang for Christmas. I led the choir in beautiful music. I was good! I looked really good, too. I wore the prettiest thing I had. Even the counselor in the Bishopric said I looked beautiful. (Is that weird?) I looked for him during the hymns, (that guy, not the Bishopric counselor!) but couldn't see him. I was bummed. The thing is, I was done dating. What was I doing thinking about this stranger? So I was ready to move on with my wonderful life.

The following Sunday I saw him again! Oh boy! I was so thrilled. I didn't teach that day, but because I was in the Sunday School presidency (is it ok to have a girl secretary in the Sunday School Presidency?) I went back and forth to make sure we had teachers in Gospel Doctrine and Gospel Essentials. He was standing there in the hall way with the girl he came with. She was a friend of mine. Larena was her name. I kept walking past them. He kept watching me. I could feel it. I was doing this on purpose, too. Then Larena stopped me and said, "Jennie, this young man thinks you're cute and would like to ask you on a date!" I looked at him. He was smiling at me. At me! I loved it! I think I was hooked even though I still figured him to be about 23. I could go for a younger guy. If it was him. I said hi. He said his name was Dan. Oh! Oh! Oh! My heart. That smile. Those eyes! He was tall! I loved tall. I needed tall so my kids would have a chance.

Wait! What was I thinking?? He asked if he could call me. I said yes! Yes!! I gave him my number and he said he would call at about 5:00. So precise. I headed to class, smiling all the way! This was a good day!

I got home from church and my mom was at the table. I walked in and said, "I am such a loser!"

My mom, in her infinite wisdom, said, "Oh, do you have a date?"

Once Upon A Time... Part 8

I would survive. I was stronger than I thought. I could handle anything. I knew I needed to make a few changes. My job was one big change to make. But what could I do? My dad had given me the name of a guy who was an Allstate insurance agent. He needed an office manager who spoke Spanish and who could come work for him for the long haul. My dad suggested I call him and see if this would be a good fit for me.


My Bishop asked me if I would be interested in being a temple worker. I thought for about 2 seconds, then said yes. I made an appointment and went to the Jordan temple and was set apart as an ordinance worker and would start on February 6, just a couple months away.


I also knew that my dating career was over. I realized that I didn't need to be married to be defined. As an individual, I could do anything. I felt good about my decision to be single. I told my parents and I think my mom took it hard. But more than anything, they wanted me to be happy. I was!


I got the job with Allstate. I would start at the beginning of January. I told him I was in it for the long haul. I had a plan. I would work there. I would keep my Spanish up. I would get an apartment. I would go back to school. I would work at the temple. This was an awesome plan.


I would survive. I would soon have my life changed forever. In fact, my life would be eternally changed. It's amazing the way things happen when you think you have it all finally figured out!

Once Upon A Time... Part 7

Jim and I had a break together that next Monday. He was great. He made me laugh. He said the right things. He thought I was totally great. How can you resist that?

When we got back to work, I noticed he had emailed me. He said he would like to make me dinner and have me meet his son. I emailed back that that would be terrific. He emailed back that this was like the movie You've Got Mail...the emailing back and forth. So cute.

Then something happened. I can't believe my luck with dating lately! My good friend Shelia (yes, that's spelled correctly) came and asked if she could talk to me. Sure! So I took another break. She asked if I was serious with that guy.

"You mean Jim?"

"Yes."

"Umm. We just started seeing each other, why?"

" I want you to come talk to a friend of mine."

"Ok."

So we walked over to her friend's desk. Now let me describe this to you in detail. Picture a beautiful girl. Really. She's gorgeous. Now put some metal through her lips, eyebrows, cheek, other unseemly places, tattoos on her arms, neck, back, etc. Black eyeliner, thick. Dark red lipstick. (Am I forgetting anything, Katie?) Oh, and jet black hair that was long on one side and cropped really short on the other. Seriously. She was gorgeous, she just hid it well. But I shouldn't deter from the point. She got off her call and started to tell me her experience dating Jim. He just wanted s*x, when she wouldn't put out right off, he hit her. He hit other women, too. Namely, his x-wives. That's why he was divorced. He has a temper. He doesn't go to church. She didn't even know he was religious. He didn't see his son that often. When she told him she didn't want to see him anymore, he was always outside her apartment, waiting for her. He would call her and knock on her door in the middle of the night. He was a stalker. She had a restraining order on him.

Does this raise a few red flags? Ummm.... YES!!!!

Now what? I seriously could not think of what to do next. I had another date set up with him. I went over to talk to Dave. I wanted to make sure he understood what he had set me up with. He had no idea. He was pretty shocked, too. I asked him if he thought Jim would hurt me if I told him to leave me alone. He didn't think so. That wasn't the Jim he knew. He said he would watch out for me, though.

I asked another friend, Natalee, to come out to the cafateria with me. I told her the whole sordid affair. What was wrong with me? Wait a minute. There's nothing wrong with me! I just seem to attract these weirdos. I have a track record...high school. I realized the difference in the 2 women he recently wooed. The "tattoo, pierced girl" and "chastity's poster child". So opposite! Now what? I couldn't go out with him again! Please! Natalee stayed with me for a while. Soon, I needed to get back to work and on our walk back in, we met up with my team leader and another co-worker. Of course they knew something was wrong. I was still crying. They wanted to know if they should talk to him. No. I needed to. I was forming a plan with their help.

I sat down at my desk for a minute. Then I went to take care of business. I walked to his desk. He was just sitting and talking to a bunch of guys from his team. They all saw me coming, red faced and tear streaked, and got really quiet. I asked Jim if he would come to the cafeteria to talk. He stood right up and followed me. Wow! This sounds so dramatic.

We sat down and I noticed my team leader, Natalee, Dave and Shelia at various spots in the room. I was covered. I think they were all expecting a fight or something. I told him I was in bad shape. I had just broken up with a boyfriend and realized I wasn't ready to be dating again. (I said boyfriend for effect, I NEVER considered Ken a boyfriend!! Yuck!) He was so nice. He said he understood. He also asked if I would remember him when I was ready to date again. I said yes. I knew that I wouldn't be ready for him again. He gave me a hug and walked back to his desk.

My friends all came to give me hugs and encouragement. They took turns walking me out to my car after work and someone was always waiting for me to walk me into work each morning. I was never alone while at work. My parents were on guard. They made sure I was safe at home. I never felt that I was in danger.

And with that, I was officially done dating. This experience was the final straw in my dating career. I knew that changes needed to come and I was ready to do what was necessary.

Once Upon A Time... Part 6

Jim worked on another collection team at Discover Card. I didn't know him, but had seen him around. He came over to talk to a guy on my team a lot. He was older, in his late 30's. (Hmmm, perspective says that isn't so old anymore, thinks the now 37 year old!!)

That friend, let's call him Dave, came and asked me if I knew Jim. I said I know who he is. He wanted to know if I would like to go out with him? I asked him to tell me a little about him. He was 36 or 37, was divorced, had a 14 year old son, owns a home, wants to open a business, He's LDS, and he's a really nice guy. Now Dave knew what I had just been through. He was a kind of friend to me at work. In a wierd sort of way. (Remember Dave, Katie? Hee hee.) He did like to watch over me, though. So I give him credit.

I agreed. I needed a nice guy to go out with. Jim came over and introduced himself and asked if I would like to go out that weekend. I said yes. He said to dress nice. He would be there at 6 to pick me up. I hated this part...dress nice? Did he think I would dress like a slob? Come on!

I told my parents I was going out with this guy from work. They were ok with it. They were still put off by the last guy. Remember him? Ken? Yeah. So my dad said he would come meet him when he came to pick me up. Jim got there and was in a trench coat, so I couldn't see what he was wearing. He handed me some beautiful pink roses. I gave them to my dad to put in the kitchen. How sweet. Maybe this would be ok. He took me to Chili's for dinner. He mentioned his disappointment that I didn't wear a dress. Been there, done that. When he took off his coat, he revealed a suit! Yes. A three piece suit. I was wearing black slacks and a nice shirt. He mentioned something about dressing up when he goes on a date. It shows his character as a gentleman. Uhuh. Ok. That's just weird.

We talked a lot through dinner. He was nice. He talked about church and how dedicated he was. He was a convert and loved the peace of being a member of the church. He talked about his plans to own his own business one day. He talked about his divorce. His wife got really bizarre after she had their son. She kinda went off the deep end. So he took the boy and went through the military divorce system and got full custody. He was raising their son on his own. Then he met another woman who he fell in love with and they got married. (WAIT A MINUTE! He had been married twice?? This was a surprise.) She decided that being a mother to a son that wasn't hers was too much. She hurt the boy and he didn't like that. So they divorced. It was nice that he was so dedicated to his son.

We went to see You've Got Mail at a theater. We enjoyed the movie. He took me home and asked if I would like to go out again. Sure. So we agreed to take our breaks at the same time at work on Monday. This was nice. I was so glad to be dating someone nice. Good looking. A family guy.

Maybe he would be the one. My knight coming to rescue me from certain sister wives...

Once Upon A Time... Part 5

My parents weren't home. They were gone for a few days. I called them, but they couldn't do much from where they were. ( I don't remember where they were) My dad was angrier than I was. He knew there was something he didn't like about Ken! I called Jodie and asked her if she knew. She didn't. She was completely surprised. I told her she had better have a nice long talk with the brother she was really wanting to marry. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't sit down. I couldn't concentrate. I called my sister,Katie, and her husband, Sean. Sean was angry and wanted to go take him out. I was really ready to watch as he did.

On Sunday I grabbed Jodie at church and asked her what the brother said. He told her that their mother married a polygamist and lives in a colony in Utah county. He didn't agree with the lifestyle and wasn't going to have multiple wives. So Jody was placated. She thought it was ok to keep dating him. I strongly disagreed.

I took her with me to talk to the Bishop. I didn't have my parents to counsel with and needed some fatherly guidance. My Bishop took us in his office and I told him everything. Everything! He was quiet and then got up with a smile on his face and said that we both needed to not see them anymore. No problem here! Jodie, now that's another story! She wasn't willing to walk away just yet. Over time, I got her to see the stupidity of the situation. To my delight and relief, she finally agreed.

In the meantime, the Bishop gave us a book to read. It was a book that his friend wrote about how polygamist men work to get older LDS women who want to get married and marry them. In the temple. Then slowly get them to agree to the fact that Joseph Smith really wanted us all to live with multiple wives, even now. And then they start looking for sister wife to add to the mix. And then another, etc. In order to get in good with the woman's family (parents, especially) they give gifts...apples, scarf, mittens, there was a jewelry box in there somewhere, too, and flowers. (I'm glad my parents weren't impressed!) They know all the words to say to LDS women. They show interest in marrying in the temple. Boy, was this book written about Ken?I remembered when he saw a friend on our first date. Remember? Probably was there to check me out. And then the friend who was supposed to meet us at the ice skating rink? Probably was supposed to let me feel the love of plural marriage. He didn't live with his brother. How can you when you have wives and children? I firmly believe he needed to go see his family on Thanksgiving and decided to make it a shower, too.

My parents came home and I told them everything I was learning about the way these guys worked. My mom and dad were very supportive and helped a great deal. They said that if he tried to contact me, there would be hell to pay. (Love it!) One night, it was late, and my parents were in bed, I was in my room (I lived in their basement) and the phone rang. I went out to look at the called ID because my parents weren't answering. It was Ken. I thought for a split second, then answered.

"What."

"How are you?"

"What do you want?"

"I just want to talk to you and explain..."

"No! I don't want any explanations. I know what you are and I don't want anything to do with you."

"Please."

"You lied to me!"

"No......(long pause).......I didn't."

"Was that your wife and kids at the restaurant?"

"No." He was sounding defeated and quiet.

"I know you're lying. I know what you are and if you call again, I will call the police."

"Please..."

"Don't call me again!"

Slam.

That felt good! I was energized! I ran up to my parents' room. They were waiting for me. I told them what I said and they were so proud of me. It was finally over for me. Done!

Not too long after that, he called again. This time my brother answered. He told Ken to leave me alone, I had moved on and he would take care of him if he heard or saw him again. I love my brother.

Meanwhile, at work, there was this guy named Jim....

Once Upon A Time... Part 4

Ken asked me to come over and talk. He also asked that I bring my scriptures. Ok. He wanted to talk to me about how he ticks and where he's coming from. So, we'll find this in the....scriptures? So I brought them. He knew a lot about the church and what we believe. He actually had been baptized when he was 8 but stopped going to church pretty quick after. I figured maybe he was just trying to get back so he wanted to go through some questions he had. He said his sister and her husband would be coming over to help him explain because they could explain it better. Ok.

When I got to his house, we sat in the living room next to each other on one of the couches. He asked me to read Doctrine & Covenants section 132 with him. Alrighty. We read it together. He asked me questions about what I thought of certain verses and what they meant. He was really intent on the new and everlasting covenant of marriage. It also talks of being obedient or be damned. Umm. I get the obedience part. I even get the "Oooh, you're gonna get it when God finds out!" part. It was the part of multiple wives that kept creeping into the conversation that got me. He was really intent on making me understand that God wants us to live that law. You know the one. The multiple wife one.

I kept saying that that law is no longer in effect. That when the law of the land says we are breaking the law when we live like that, God tells us to obey the law of the land. I went to the Official Declaration-1, you know, the Manifesto, where is states that plural marriage was now not being recognized or practiced in the church or by its leaders. He referenced Teachings Of The Prophet Joseph Smith. He gave his copy to me for keeps. Oh, I'm a lucky girl! He said that prophets still lived the law of plural marriage underground even after the Manifesto. I said no. That was then, this is now. What century are you living in? Anyway, it doesn't matter! We listen to a living prophet. We don't live the law of plural marriage. !!!!!!

He was so certain that it was just a ruse. That the "real" followers of Christ and the "really obedient" people were living the law as section 132 states and that we should all be living it so as to not receive the wrath of God. Ummmm....

I moved to the other couch!

"You're a polygamist, aren't you?"

"No, I'm not" he says very quietly.

"Are you married?"

"No."

"Who was that woman with the kids at Village Inn?"

"Umm. A friend."

"Are you kidding me?"

"My sister is a sister wife and can explain it better than I can. She'll be here soon with her husband and can explain it so you will understand."

"I'm leaving."

"Please don't. Just let her explain."

Slam!

I was so angry! How could he?? Oh, the anger just seethed through me. The jerk. He had been stringing me along. Things started to get clearer as I drove home. She was his wife. She was checking me out to see if I could fit in as a sister wife. He was shopping for another wife. ME!