Burns, Freckles and Other Such Things.

These past weeks have been full of amazing moments with my incredible brain.  I've begun writing a book.  Not that that's so amazing, but I have officially begun.  I have also been PTA-ing and Ward Missionary-ing and helping a neighbor move and stuff.  But in between all that stuff there has been other stuff.  And I thought I'd share that stuff with you.

A few weeks ago I burned my arm.  I reached over a just-out-of-the-oven baking dish to grab a paper towel and my arm met the dish.  It burned!  Hurt! Ouch!

Months before this happened I had purchased a box filled with this burn gel.  I put a bottle in each car, in the kitchen, in the linen closet, in the first aid kit, in the 72 hour kits.  And I still have more waiting for a spot.  Anyhoo, Daniel grabbed a bottle and put a ton on my burn.  I reapplied a bit later and the next day my arm was that picture up there.  No blisters, no burning, no nothing.  This stuff is awesome!

Grandpa brought kazoos for the kids when they came for dinner last week.  He told the kids that now when they are asked if they play an instrument, they can say they play the kazoo.  Hah!!

Last week while on my way to grandma and grandpa's to get some peaches, I stopped at the Maverick for a diet coke.  I locked the car door, and, with keys in hand, went in.  I came out and pushed my button to unlock my door and nothing happened.  Nothing!  No beeping, no unlocking, no locking.  Nothing.  So I called Daniel, who suggested I try again.  um.  I have been pushing the darned thing the whole time.  Nothing Is Happening!  So he thought maybe it could be the battery in the key.  So I called my friend Laurie.  I asked her to please rescue me.  She came and took me to the store and she purchased a battery for me.  My purse was in my car.  Which was locked.  So I replaced the battery and pushed the button.  Nothing. Again.  So I called a locksmith.  Laurie stuck with me and we chatted while we waited.  The locksmith came and opened my door.  Good thing, because he wasn't getting paid for his trouble unless he got it opened.  So my key lock still doesn't work.  Daniel can't figure it out.  I did get the peaches. 

I went back in to my eye doctor who looked at my secret freckle.  It hasn't changed.  Yay!  So I am not in the market for a sparkly eye patch.  At least not right now.  

My left hand pinkie has begun to trigger.  It hurts like crazy cakes.  I called the surgeon to see what he could do.  They said I can't have surgery until it really sticks.  Darn it all!  But I could come and get a cortisone shot.  Uh.  No thanks.  I remember the last time they did that.  It felt like rocks were being injected into my thumb.  I think I'll wait.

Sam is taking pictures of the goats for Reflections.  I looked at his pictures and he had about 5 of his nose.  I wonder if this could be entered under the theme.  Believe, Dream, Inspire.  Dream of long eyelashes. Believe your son will take great nose shots.  Inspire with bold shots of the inside of one's nose.  Could work.

Last week while flipping through a newspaper, I saw a nasty picture.  I can't explain the picture, so I'll just tell you what the article said.  You know those flushable bum wipes?  The ones you use on your bum so your bum is clean and fresh and can flush down the toilet?  They are clogging the pipes.  They are causing huge problems for plumbers and for the sewers.  Dang.  Just when you thought you could clean your bum and rid yourself of the evidence, everyone can see that evidence in the newspaper!  That was the picture.  Is there no shame?  Do we keep cleaning our bums and flushing the flushable wipes?  Or do we go back to lousy dry TP.  Oh wait! Apparently the thick TP is causing the very same troubles in the sewers.  Dang.  There's just no way around it.  I have no advice or further comments on this.

Do you see what I see?  Hold it.  Do you see that empty space??  Daniel's old car is gone.  It's in the Scout Master's drive way now.  He's gonna sell it or donate it or something and use the money for the Scout program.  Yay, the car's gone!

And furthermore, after much grocery shopping and PTA-ing, I went to Jimmy Johns to get a #12.  It's yummy.  And I deserved it.  So I order and go to the window.  I pay and get my sandwich.  Then I come home, unload the groceries and go to eat my lunch.  And what do you know?!  It was all the inside the sandwich stuff in a lettuce leaf! Are you kidding me?  Where's my bread?!  I need the bread!  So I eat my salad wrapped in paper and then I had eat a Twinkie.  Because I need a carb.  Or slightly more.  Sheesh!

On a more spiritual note, I went to a fireside the other night here in our Stake.  Sherie Dew and Virginia Pearce came to speak to us.  They just co-wrote a book called "The Beginning Of Better Days"  It has the notes taken by Eliza R Snow of the very first meetings of the Relief Society.  Their thoughts on Joseph Smith's words to the Sisters are inspiring.  And, of course, so are Joseph Smith's words.  If you're looking for a very good, very quick, very inspiring book to read.  Read "The Beginning of Better Days".

So there you go.  I'm done for now.  I need to rack up more stuff to share with you so I'll be off.

My Anxieties Are Cooler Than Yours.

I'm gonna share my latest anxieties with you. Or whatever it is. I dreamt 2 nights ago that I went out to get in my van and there was a car jammed into the front of it. My front tire was gone and the engine was in the driver's seat. I ran into the house and told Daniel. Then we had to track down who did it. But I kept thinking, “Let's just get another car.” But we found the guy who then started to fix it. He was actually fixing it. The problem is, he didn't fix the back of the van. Anxiety.

Last night I woke up to go, um, potty, and checked my blood and went to get something to eat. It was low. I love how my body wakes me when that happens. Although I am really tired right now. So I turned on the TV because chocolate cake seems to keep me awake.

I flipped through channels and guess what I learned?? Fox 13 news at 9 is on at 1:00 AM. So I caught the last bit of yesterday's news. For some reason, those Fox 13 people make more sense to me at 1 AM with chocolate cake in my system. Usually they remind me of high school.

Then when that was over. At 2:00 AM. I flipped around some more. I found Martha Stewart. Wow. I thought she was dead. Or something. Wait! She was in prison, right? She had some girl on who I didn't recognize. After all, it's now 2 AM and the chocolate cake is dissipating. But this gal had some funny stuff which I can't remember now. But one thing stuck.

TP. You know, toilet paper. Do you put the roll on with the TP coming over the top, or underneath? 80% of their audience does it on top. That means 20% put it underneath. Or don't use TP. They didn't qualify that. We use TP here at our house. But it made me think...how do I restock TP?

Here it is. Before I had children I put the TP over the top. I made sure of it every time. But there were only 2 of us, so I didn't have to replace very often. Then the children came. Who invited them?? Oh yeah, we did. And we love them!! But they do funny things with TP. Like unroll the whole roll. Into the toilet. Then flush it. Along with toys and stuff. Or they unroll it while walking through the house. Or wipe noses on the whole roll they just unrolled. And of course that's all before they actually start using TP for the purpose for which it was created.

Then comes potty training. Yeesh! And more creative things get done with TP. Like wiping without ripping it off the roll. Or peeing and then unrolling TP into the potty. And the pee seeps up the roll. Or or or...I could go on. But potty and stuff are, well, a necessary part of life. Everyone does it. But it's gross. So let's get back to the TP, shall we?

I put the TP underneath now. It helps with the ability to unroll easily. Otherwise we go through TP like wildfire in dry grass on a hot summer day. But we still go through it. They find ways. It's been used more creatively though. As wrapping for mummies. As blankets for baby dolls. As a table cloth. As head wrapping when injured. As a trail to find their way home. As a quick cleaner upper when something spills. Creative. I'm tellin' ya!

So my question for you is this. Do you put your TP on over the top? Or underneath? Do you use TP? And then answer me this. Do you crease the corners of the TP when you put it on the roll?

I need to go put my anxiety down for a nap now!

Thank you very much.