Cute Quips.

Last night we were on our way out of Pack meeting. Well. Let me rephrase that. My family went out to the car and I was talking in the church. They finally put a movie on because I was talking for a while. When I got to the car they were watching Nacho Libre. As we drove home, home is only 2 minutes away, they continued to watch. If you've never seen the movie, Nacho is a monk and they talk about Heavenly Father and baptism. Ruthie says...

"This is such a great movie. It's funny and it's gospel!"

Daniel and I laughed the last 30 seconds home!

Today.

A couple of weeks before Sam was born I measured big enough to be carrying twins at full term. And I was only 32 weeks! Not long after that appointment the doctor was concerned for both me and the baby and asked what I'd had for breakfast. Oatmeal. He said we'd have to wait a few hours, so call Daniel and get registered. When they felt my belly was empty of breakfast, they hooked an IV up and got me to the operating room. I was 35 1/2 weeks and both Sam and I were in mortal danger. He was born big. 9 1/2 pounds big. His lungs quickly distressed and they took him to the NICU and hooked him to oxygen and an IV. I was rolled away to recover. Over the next couple of days we learned that Sam would need to be there longer than I did. It was devastating to me. How could I leave my baby in the hospital and just go home?

I did go home and left my baby in good hands. I wondered why things went the way they just did. Why so early? Why didn't the doctor give me stuff for his lung development? But I was so grateful for the relief of knowing he was mine eternally. If anything should happen, he would always be mine. My mom and dad and brother Aaron came to visit him in the hospital. Because they only allow a couple of people into the NICU at a time, my parents came in first and Aaron stood at the window. My dad took a picture of him there, waving to us. He then got to come in and see his newest nephew.

A week after Sam was born, he was released. We brought him home and got a delivery of oxygen tanks. We would need to have oxygen going into his nose for at least another couple of weeks. And again I wondered why.

Early Sunday morning, 16 days after Sam was born, April 28 to be exact, I got a phone call from my dad. He said he had distressing news. Aaron was missing. He didn't come home that night. the police wouldn't help because he was a 17 year old teenage boy. I guess it's normal for them to disappear. They didn't know Aaron. My dad said he knew we had a new baby and I was recovering from surgery, but he was hoping the men could come help look. I got off the phone, showered, got my boys dressed and we all got in the car and drove down. That was a very long and painful drive. Where was he? What could have happened? So many questions.

We got off the freeway and drove up the road that led to my parents house. As we drove up to the gully, getting closer to my parents' house, we saw all the emergency vehicles. A car had gone off. I told Daniel to stop. He didn't. We told my dad as he was leaving the driveway again. My brother and brother in law got there when my dad did. They wouldn't give any information to them about who. They did say what kind of car. It was Aaron's.

He was killed on impact. While my parents waited for him to come home, he had gone home. Home to his Heavenly Father. The following days were excruciating. How could He take him from us? I held my baby and my toddler so close. There were so many questions. But at the same time there were answers right in front of us. Aaron was done. He'd done all he was required to do. He passed. He was now working hard on the other side. I looked at all I had believed and felt was true. Eternal families. A Savior. The Atonement. Heavenly Father's plan. Celestial Glory. Was it all really true? This was the moment that each of us needed to decide.

It would be easy to walk away at that point. To choose to believe that Heavenly Father didn't care about us. That He had no mercy or love for us. That Aaron was taken selfishly and cruelly. That would be easy.

It would be more "work" to trust in God. To choose to believe that Heavenly Father's plan was real and that now was the moment of putting our trust in Him more fully. A time to choose to believe that our family was eternally bound together. That Aaron's work here on earth was done and that he is now free.

I chose the latter. In fact, we all chose the latter. But instead of believing, we knew. I know. Aaron and I are eternally bound as brother and sister. Isaac and Sam (and eventually Ruthie) were bound to me eternally as my children. Daniel and I had the greatest blessing of an eternal marriage. Heavenly Father knew Aaron and now has a special work for him to do on the other side of the veil. I am beyond belief. I know.I also understood better why Sam came so early. I needed to be physically able to bear the burden of loss. And Aaron needed to be able to see Sam. Sammy loves to hear about when uncle Aaron came and waved through the window while he was in the hospital. Heavenly Father knew he would.

I still miss Aaron. He was my baby brother. He made a shrine for me when I moved away from home when he was just 3. I cracked his head in the windshield when I slammed on the brakes in our little car because everyone was bugging me. He sucked his middle and ring finger for years and always had blisters on his knuckles. He would sit on my bed waiting for me when I'd come home from work so he could just hang with me. He helped me wash my car every Saturday and always got a treat from 7-11 after. The nachos were good! He was an artist with a pencil and paper. He loved to build with K'Nex. My Isaac loves to build with them now.

This is one of his drawings. Beauty Amidst Bleakness.

Every time we pass the cemetery we wave and say "Hi uncle Aaron. We love you. We miss you. Come back soon!" That last part refers to the day he will rise with the just on the morning of the first resurrection. And we can't wait!

Published!

Some time ago I submitted something I'd written to the Ensign. I didn't expect anything. But then I got an email from one of the editors. She said they were interested in using my submission in an online feature about infertility. While they were working through how they would accomplish this, about 15 submissions arrived in a 2 week period. Mine was one of them. Although infertility wasn't the point of my submission, they felt strongly that it should be part of the feature. It was set to be published online in April. When April's Ensign arrived, I found the Faith and Infertility article quickly. I went to the Ensign online and nothing was there to make an online feature. Bummer! The editor said there was a delay. But the delay has ended. Here's where you click ...

Ensign
Scroll down to Faith and Infertility

Click on additional experiences

Find my name

Read my article

Or just click Here

Read the other articles too!

Enjoy

Help!!

I officially declare the Finish The Family Room Wall switch to be in the ON position! Which brings me to a dilemma. What to do with the D. The D is an important letter to our family. So I made a D to go on one of the shelves. Along with 2 other things. Which I didn't take a picture of. So you're all flying blind. But maybe you can still help!

Here is the D.

I have a smaller D that I that could add for some interest. Or something. So here are the options. YOU MUST HELP! Tell me which you like best!

A.

B.
C.

D.

(Get it?? D) And this was only done so there would be a letter D as an option. I really don't like it. So don't vote for it!

E.

F.

G.

H.

I.

Or just plain J.
Remember...You're helping solve a great dilemma in my life.

Vote!

Now!

If We Had No Moon...

We would have no werewolves.

The Last 3 Days.

Let's get back to business. Friday is a very important day. The Atonement began the evening before with the Last Supper and Jesus' suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane. On Friday morning, Good Friday to many, Jesus left the Garden and was met by His apostle, Judas Iscariot, and Roman soldiers. Judas betrayed Him and Jesus was taken to the Governor, Pilate. A trial ensues and Pilate heeds the voice of the people to release Barabbas from prison and crucify Jesus. Jesus is mocked, beaten, spit upon and taken to Golgotha to be crucified. Between two thieves, who also mock Him, Jesus asks the Father to forgive them. What an amazing example of Christ's love and when we should forgive. Jesus was not killed. It's a point I drive home often. He gave His life. No one took it from Him. When the earthly part of the Atonement was finished, He said to His Father, "Father, it is finished, thy will is done."

On Saturday we talk about what Jesus does in the Spirit World. He organized missionary work! I love this part because of those we know who are doing that very work right now. Aaron, Lyndsay, baby Rebecca, Opah, Grandma Shelba, Zenda, Heidi, and many others.

Here is a pencil drawing of Aaron.

Sunday morning is the culmination of all of Jesus' work here on the earth. We watch To This End Was I Born. We go to church ready to experience the Sacrament with gratitude for His life. He lived, He taught His gospel, He showed a perfect example, He healed, He raised some from the dead, He suffered, He bled, He died, He was resurrected. Death has no victory over any of us. I am grateful that my children love this week. I am grateful that they have a great appreciation for their Savior and Redeemer.
I am grateful He Lives!

Thursday. Now And Then.

Let's cover the Now first. Ruthann lost a tooth and put the tooth in a baggie and then into an envelope. She wanted to write a note to the tooth fairy. I guess she didn't trust me to get the message to her. Thursday morning she woke up to a one dollar bill under her pillow. From the Drat Files: We went to the school carnival on Thursday afternoon and saw our little next door friends. After a while one friend came running in and said, panicking, "Your fence blew down. It's broken. The goats got out. You're really gonna have to get a new fence!" So I grabbed my kids and we were off. By the time I got there, Isaac and our friends, who gave Ike a quick ride home, had gotten the goats in the back. Jeff, their dad, was looking it over and passed by me as I ran over to assess the damage. He said he would get some fence posts and fix it up. Here it is all "fixed up". Daniel's pretty sure he can switch a top post with a bottom post and fix it.
And Then...
On Thursday we remember the Last Supper and the Garden of Gethsemane. We ate some unleavened bread and lit our lamp and talked about the Sacrament and Jesus' suffering in the Garden. We discussed the importance of taking the Sacrament each week and remembering that Jesus loves us so much that He bled from every pore in our behalf.

Many thanks to Amie, Jeff, and their kiddos, who helped save the day.
And we are eternally grateful for our loving Savior, who bled and died for us. And who rose the third day. He lives!