Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Since February.

So let me tell you what's been happening here since February. Not that it affects you. It doesn't. But it does affect me. So here it is. Since February I have steadily gained a couple of pounds. I have had pre-cancer stuff removed from my arms and legs. I thought I was having a heart attack. My hair has gained more gray. The wrinkles on my face are more noticeable. To me. You may have been able to see them just fine. But my contact prescription has gotten a bit stronger and so I can't see the stuff on my face. Like stray eye brows. Oh, and wrinkles. Sorry about the stray eyebrows. But I do see them when I choose to look closely. My back hurts more. I've grown far more cranky than I've ever been. I get heart burn easier. I need more sleep. I have a bad attitude and it affects my ability to get along swimmingly with certain things. I also lost a 5 year hope for another child.

But one thing I've noticed since February is that I am really happy about being 40. I turned 40 in February, in case you weren't aware. Now that you are, I am really happy about it. I love being 40. I love being in my 40's. I love being able to say “now that I'm 40” or “so now that I'm in my 40's”. And so I've been trying to put a finger on why I am loving it so much when there is so much of the undesirable going on. And I got it! I know why I love it so much.

You see, when I was 12 I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. And with that came years of being told and reminded and whispered to of the things that I couldn't do. Have babies. Be healthy. Live long. Seriously. I took the “you won't live long” to literally mean I wouldn't live past my 30's. If I even got to my 30's. I knew I would die in there somewhere. Why? Because that's what they told me. Back before my bad attitude had me question and then research things people told me. Anyway, I made it. I survived my 30's. I can easily say I did it. And now that I'm 40, or, in my 40's, I rejoice. I actually have great Joy in that. Weird? I guess. Just wait til I get to my 50's. Oh, it'll be grand!


Anonymous said...

It's really refreshing to hear someone talk joyfully about growing older. You are such a good example! And you are gorgeous and look great, by the way. No need to worry about those small things!

Kim said...

Thank goodness for them being wrong! I'm so happy that I have the pleasure of knowing you. And you just keep on fighting them!