A Few Days In Our Life.

I've longed for grass for months now.  At Abbie's Tea Party this year my mom had us plant wheat and grow...  Ta Da!  Wheat Grass!  I am officially happy to have wheat grass.  It's the greenest thing in my life!

My birthday was last week.  Did you hear?  I would have just missed it entirely except that all the people at Blue and Gold sang to me.  Daniel sent me these beauties.  He loves me.

Sunday was Chinese New Year.  We went to dinner with our friends Kim and Jon and their girls on Saturday night.  Sunday we had all my family over to celebrate with lots of food and Chinese fun.

Isn't this a gorgeous orange?  I gave my family oranges to signify sweetness and completeness in this the year of the snake.

Monday Isaac was in the district science fair up at Weber State.  I snapped this at 6:30 that morning.  This is his board.  I guess we only know how he did by whether or not we get an invite to the award ceremony.  When Isaac got there he texted me this.. "breathtaking!".  He is now planning on attending Weber State.

So there you have it.  Our world this past week.  Almost like a day in the life.  Almost.  Maybe...

Going To China?

This morning I was going to China to get my baby and so was my neighbor Mandy. Our hubbys were still at work but would meet us at the airport. So I grabbed our suitcases, one very large one and one medium one with a smaller one inside of it. I never zipped the suitcases up. I also grabbed the one paper that I would need in China. So Mandy and I drove together to the airport. As we got out of the car I asked what time our flight was. Mandy didn't know. Then I realized I hadn't even talked to the adoption agency to make sure we had a flight. Maybe we didn't even have a flight to China!

I looked at my watch and it was about 5:53 pm. And then I looked at the paper I needed for China and it said I needed to have it checked by a “street person” for verification. Strange. And then it occurred to me that I didn't pack anything in my unzipped suitcases. Nothing. No clothes, no toothbrush, no nothin'. I mentioned it to Mandy who just laughed a little. I called Daniel, who would be driving home from work, to ask him to bring me my clothes. And toothbrush. And stuff. He didn't answer. So I called my kids at home to get my things together.  And then I woke up.

Last week referrals came out for our LID. If we hadn't pulled our paperwork a year and a half ago, we would have a picture and information on our new daughter. Or son. But we pulled the paperwork. No referral.  Just a really strange dream. I asked Daniel if he thought the dream meant we just aren't supposed to go to China. A reiteration, if you will. No clothes packed in the suitcases, no flight tickets, unzipped suitcases, and I don't even wear a watch! Daniel said it's just anxiety. Well, yeah. Me and my anxiety driven self have been up since 6:30 this morning.

I look at where we are now in our lives and know that Heavenly Father knew at the time what we didn't. I am helping to care for Daniel's mom right now. I can't imagine doing what needs to be done with a toddler who is working on attachment. Isaac begins junior high at the end of August, close to when we would be traveling. I will be able to focus on his preparation without travel plans and without a toddler who demands 24/7 care on attachment. One of my kids is having some health issues that need to be cared for at Primary Children's hospital and I can't imagine taking care of him while taking care of a toddler who is dealing with abandonment issues. And so many more things going on. Some that could be canceled or put off for the time if a toddler came. But many that are just how we live right now.

I sometimes wonder if I am trying to talk myself into just accepting (once again) the fact that we are finished. But I know that we are. I know that things have worked in our favor and in our best interest. And I do love where we are right now. I am so excited for the few who stayed and saw it through. They now have a referral and the future is bright for them and their growing families. And I am a bit sad for those of us who had to make the heartbreaking decision to be done before referrals came. Hearts will mend over time. And children keep us busy and Joyful.

Chinese New Year.

Monday the 23rd is the first new moon of the year. That means it's... Chinese New Year on Monday!

I have already gone to my boys' classes to do my CNY presentations where I give them each a red envelope with a chocolate coin in it, a pair of chopsticks and a fortune cookie. It's one of my favorite things to do for CNY.
Monday I go to Ruthie's class. Tonight we will meet our good friends Kim and Jon and their daughters for dinner at a Chinese Buffet.
This is the year of the Dragon.

The Sarajune Project.

This one is hard to write. September 13 is our Lid anniversary for Sarajune. It means we have been officially waiting for her for 3 years! How long is 3 years? Some people can have 3 children in 3 years. Teenagers get through all of their high school education (at least here in Utah) in 3 years. Children go from 6, 4 and 3 years old, perfect for adding a little sister, to 9, 7 and 6 years old. Mom and dad get 3 years closer to 40 years old. Children ask more times than one can count when Sarajune is coming and why is it taking so long. Mom becomes so numb to the wait that she is amazed at how acute the pain is to still have empty arms. Dad wonders if he will ever be able to hold his new daughter to give her a name and a blessing and enjoy having another little girl adore him.

3 years is a long time.

A really long time.

Even with another opportunity to adopt domestically, China has been our long time dream. To go back to the Great Wall. To eat real Chinese food again. To smell the smells of China, even though they make my tummy turn. To go back and enjoy where Ruthie was born and really enjoy the sights and sounds. To go and be united with Sarajune.

We don't know when we will go to China. We may not ever go. We still say we have about 2-3 years more to wait. I think it's optimistic.

We have an opportunity to do some fun traveling in the early summer with Daniel's siblings, their spouses and his parents. I started out a little uptight about the whole thing. Why? Because of how easy it is to plan an adventure like this and have all the details squared away when I don't have any control over when I will have a baby. It really sucks. But. I am starting to get excited about the opportunity. If we have a baby before then, we won't be able to go. So. I am getting more and more excited to go. Maybe we won't get to go.

Happy Niu Year

Welcome to the year of the Ox. Ox in Chinese sounds like New. Thus, Happy Niu Year!

It is a scientifically known fact that eating Chinese food makes children...

HYPER!!
HYPER!!
HYPER!!

But it sure was fun!

The Sarajune Project

This morning Ruthie and I took a trip to the local grocer to pick up some prescriptions and decided to make the trip more fun by picking up a donut. Or 2. Okay, 4. I have 3 kids and I need one, too. We ran into a mom from last year's Joy School. She had her baby not too long ago so we looked at the cuteness.

As we walked over to the donut section, Ruthie said, "I really don't want to look at any more babies. Unless it's Sarajune."

Today we celebrate 28 months of endless waiting. Is celebrate the right word? No. We are tired of waiting. Tired of questions. Tired of not being done with our family and not being able to do anything about it. We're just tired.

In less than 2 weeks the Spring Festival starts. We call it Chinese New Year here in America. In China it's just called Spring Festival. And it lasts 2 weeks. Do you think anyone would complain if we took a 2 week vacation from everything? In China they do. Not complain. They take a 2 week long vacation. No one complains.

I have already made arrangements to go to Isaac's class to do my CNY presentation. I am working on getting a time set up for Sam's class. I got Ruthie's new Chinese dress the other day. She grew out of the old one. The boys still fit in their Chinese outfits. If I don't fit in my Chinese jacket, I'll just wear my Chinese scarf. Daniel's Chinese ties are still in good shape. When we wear our Chinese outfits to church on January 25, people will most likely ask if we are wearing our Chinese clothes to celebrate that we are going to go get our baby! I will again say No, we're just celebrating Chinese New Year. When we go get our baby, you and everyone in a 55 mile radius will know!! Trust me!

I'm looking forward to Chinese food for dinner on Monday the 26th. I love putting up our CNY decorations outside and inside. I really like that everything is red. It's my favorite color.

And I really don't want to look at any more babies. Unless it's Sarajune.

More Oodles of Noodles

In a flash of brilliancy (I have those every once in a while) I bought Ramen to appease the crying crowds wanting Noodles! (Click on Noodles if you missed it!) The crowds roared with praise. They love their mom! We snacked on them last night and then had some for lunch today...

Isaac would still like to move to China and sell them. Maybe if he can't figure out how to make noodles, he can just buy a whole ton of Ramen and cook it up and sell that to the hungry masses.
He sure did enjoy eating them!

Speaking of the Melamine scare in China... We weren't?? Well, now that we are... I took Ruthie in to the doctor one afternoon and had some blood and urine testing done to make sure she doesn't have any kidney problems resulting from possible Melamine contamination. Later that day, the doctor called and said the bloodwork looked good, but the urinalysis didn't. He wanted us to just come back earlier in the morning and pee in a cup again. (Pee in a cup??? Talk about giggle fest!) So we went in again and it's all clear. Peeing in a cup is an exciting experience for a 5 year old. Believe me! But we are very relieved and grateful that she wasn't "contaminated", or at least doesn't have any effects of it.

If you have a daughter adopted from China as early as 2005, go get the testing done!

The Sarajune Project

I mentioned that our agency got Hague Accreditation in a previous post. I'm not really sure how to expound on that to make this an interesting post. I'll do my best.

We have been waiting now "officially" for 26 months. The last batch of referrals only covered 1 1/2 days of LIDs. That means it's a really bad batch. But don't get me wrong. Families got their babies. They are finally seeing their sweet babies faces for the first time. But it doesn't move the line along much. Since we figure we still have a couple of years to wait, we have put off renewing our expired paperwork. The paperwork that costs upward of $1000 to do. The paperwork that would still expire after 18 months. The paperwork that, in April, changed quite a bit.

With the Hague in place, if paperwork is expired, no matter when your LID is, you fall under the Hague rules and must do Hague paperwork. A friend of mine went in to renew her paperwork in April, right after the Hague went into affect, and is still waiting for her renewal. It's Crrazy! (that's my Nacho Libre impression) So we figured we would put off renewing our expired paperwork until after things settle down and the INS can tell us exactly what they want from us so we can just get the paperwork we need, fill it out, get other things they require and hand it in with a very large chunk o change and get our renewal.

Now that our agency has been Hague Accredited, we will be able to work directly with them in getting the necessary foot work done...homestudy updates, medical updates, etc, etc. So it's a relief that we don't have to go with an agency we don't know and work with people we've never met and share all the personal and intimate details of our life to new people.

We still aren't ready to start renewing. I figure if we wait another year, we will only have to do it once more and will hopefully go to China before it expires. But you just never know! I hope that was interesting enough to read. I don't share adoption stuff often because of the intricate details that don't make much sense if you're not doing it, but do mean the world to me in this process. I suppose it's like being pregnant and feeling the need to decompress about how much of your hair is falling out and what the doctor said about your weight and just where the baby kicks and what it's now doing to your skin, and how much your back hurts and your arches are falling and you can't eat Mexican anymore, etc. It's okay to hear once in a while, but then it gets a little old if it's repeated with every visit. So just smile and wave, girls. I really need some chocolate!

The Sarajune Project

Now I realize I've called this string of musings several things...The Sarajune Project, Sarajune Project, Sarajune Chronicles, The Sarajune Chronicles. Seems a little funny that I can't keep the same title. What's a girl to do? So I'm gonna go back to my original title of The Sarajune Project. Thanks for reading!

Tomorrow is a red letter day. Ok, maybe not so much. Over the last few weeks I have been riproaring emotional. Of course there are the obvious reasons for emotion. I mean, I'm a girl, after all. But for some reason this has been a little more than usual. Last weekend I got home from church and just cried into Daniel's shoulder. A little while later, I looked at the big calendar on the wall and looked at the coming week. Then I realized where the emotion was coming from. Saturday, September 13, is our 2 year anniversary of waiting for Sarajune.

Now the wait hasn't been exactly 2 years. We did 9 months of paperwork before that. The anniversary is our LID (Log In Date). So what does that mean? It means our paperwork has been in Beijing at the CCAA (China Center of Adoption Affairs) since that date. It is the date that officially started our "wait".

Daniel suggested some ideas to distract me on Saturday. I didn't like some of them because they involved people coming to my house, which I'd have to clean, feeding them dinner, which I'd have to prepare, and niceties, which I'm not ready to give. So we're going to the Dinosaur Park as a family to have lunch and see the 'saurs. It's always more fun when dad gets to come!

I have gotten two particular questions a little more than usual lately. So I figure this is a good place to answer and hopefully explain those!

Why is the wait so long?? and Is there a baby already waiting for you??

To the first question...I don't know.

The wait is just what it is. China used to have the most dependable program of all the international programs. You knew you would have your baby in your arms in a certain amount of time after your LID. Over the last 3 years, the wait has spread and gotten longer. The program is run by the CCAA and they are the ones who make all the decisions. It doesn't matter what agency you are with or what country you are from. The CCAA sends out a number of referrals (pictures and info on your baby) each month. That number is what determines how long the wait is. We are in a very long line. The CCAA just sent referrals for 9 days. That is a good number. When we got Ruthie's referral, they sent a month and a half of days. Right now, 9 days is gigantic! (Compared to the 2-3 days they have been sending)

To the second question...No.

At the rate the CCAA is going, she won't be born for another year or so. As they get closer to our LID in the line, the greater the chance is that she has been born. We won't know who she is until we get our referral.

And yes, we are looking at another 2 years.

With that, I have let the emotion come when it has gotten close to the surface. It's been close a lot lately. But my arms are full of my three gorgeous kids and all the fun and stuff that comes with them! Even though I feel the emptiness of one more child, I am grateful I have my kiddos who are here in my arms already. Sarajune stays tucked away in my heart.

You won't have to ask when our referral comes! You will know. It will be the shouts of joy and the screams of delight that echo throughout the land that will let you know that we have her picture and will be packing to go get her. China. Aahhh. I can't wait to come back to see you!

I'm not really as big of a basket case as you might think, at the moment. Time heals things. And since I've got plenty of time, I will probably be healed of any and all ailments and that would be a good thing. Wish us luck with those 'saurs!

SPORTS???

So I've been sitting here watching women's diving on those games. You know the ones. The games where atheletes from around the world come together to compete. Uhuh! The Olympics. As I've watched the games I've pondered on my Olymicness. Oh. Right. I don't really look like an Olympian. Ok. Maybe a Sumo or something. Not really. But I know I don't look like the divers.

Here's the thing. I want to be in Beijing. You know how I am. I just want to go to China for my own selfish reasons. I should have been training the last 2 years instead of just waiting for my daughter. So here are my choices of what I could compete in. Ready?

Basketball.....I'm 5'2". Pulease!
Badminton...Is that still a sport?
Diving....See, there's this water thing...ok, fear...that I have....
Swimming....Seriously...Aquaphobic!
Shooting...Hmmm...maybe...
Rowing...I have no upper body strength! Really!
Track and field...I'm knock kneed. It's no fun having your knees smack together on purpose!
Weightlifting....Again, no upper body strength. And I really don't like the way their necks bulge.
Softball...I don't like wearing gloves.
Water Polo...Again, the water thing comes into play.
Fencing...Hmmm...Possibilities. Would I bleed if the sword thing stabbed me?
Synchronized Swimming...Seriously people, jello in my hair?? And the thingy they wear on their noses just makes them look dumb.
Equestrian...My hiney hurts just thinking about it.
Cycling...Again,the hiney hurting thing.
Beach Volleyball...I don't like the feel of sand in my hiney.
Gymnastics...Hmmm...I'm short. I just don't think I'm that coordinated. And I can't smile for long periods of time. It hurts my cheeks.
Volleyball....Now volleyball I could do. It's the only game in P.E. that I actually enjoyed. Well, not really enjoyed! Tolerated is more like it. I can smack a ball around and possibly get it over the net. I know all the terms...bump, set, match, kill, spike. I could do those things. The gals that play are all different. They are tall, short, skinny. One's just a tad thick. Yeah. I think I'll play volleyball. I'll start my training soon. I promise. Really. I have 4 years to get it right. I can do it. Alright. Forget it. I'll just make some popcorn and keep watching it on my couch.

The Sarajune Chronicles

Well. Here we are. The eve of the Beijing Olympics. I am SOOOOO excited. I am looking forward to seeing Beijing, and China in general, over the next few weeks. I want to be there now. Right now. Not competing! I want to be there to pick up my baby. But I'm not, so I'll write a new Chronicles post.

This week our agency recieved a blow that didn't surprise me at all. Should I be worried that it didn't surprise me? Hmmm. Perhaps. Our agency was denied Hague Accreditation. What does this mean? Well, it shouldn't mean much to us because of our Log In Date (9-13-06). But it will affect us because we will need to renew paperwork again. And again. And when you renew paperwork with the USCIS (INS), you have to fill out Hague paperwork. You have to have a Hague Accredited agency to do the paperwork. It does affect us. So it does come as a blow.

I'm not emotional about it. It's another glitch in a long line of glitches in this process. We will wait for our agency to refer us to an agency that can get the paperwork through for us. Hmmm. Should I be worried? Perhaps.

A year ago I started looking into India. This time I started looking at Ethiopia. Could I send my heart to another country? I have given it some thought and realize, once again, that my heart is in China. I know that with the level of hot and bothered I get with the Olympics being in Beijing and all the press, much of it negative, and how it just breaks my heart, that China is still my only choice.

Hollywood is the worst. Other people are pretty bad. I understand the human rights issues. Believe me! I understand them. While we were preparing to go to China, we were told not to ask or talk about Tibet or Tiananmen Square and other things regarding human rights. Why? Because they most likely wouldn't know what we were talking about. And if they did, they would deny it happened. They would say their government would never allow such a thing to happen. I saw what happened on Tiananmen Square. I remember a tank going through the square amidst all the Chinese students. As I walked through Tiananmen Square, I could feel the history of a very oppressed people. But for the people, it never happened. So we didn't say a word.

As the bashing goes on, I think about the people. They are kept in the dark on so many levels. They don't have a free press. Everything is controlled. That's Communism for you. The people have nothing to do with it. The babies have no control over their own destiny. And that breaks my heart. As I can't stop the tears from coming when I think of countless children who haven't gotten a hug or kiss or a complete meal, I wish that the world would give them a chance. I wish their government would give them a chance.

I hope that China walks away from this Olympics as champions. I hope that people here can see what a strong, valiant, worthy people the Chinese are. I pray for a governmental change that will bring light to the people. The light of peace. The light of truth. The light of liberty. The light of the gospel.

My heart aches for my baby. I have empty arms. I want my family to be complete now. I know I'm not in charge of it all, though. If I were, I wouldn't be learning as much as I am. China is in our blood, in every beat of our hearts, in every glance at my children. Enjoy the Olympics! Enjoy all that you have, and even take for granted, here in America. Enjoy the peace that you feel when you are on the right path. I will. I am. Thanks for reading.

Reflections

3 years ago today we became a family of 5. Today is a day to reflect with my daughter on our journey to her and her journey to our family. We don't celebrate with a big party, we don't even get Chinese food. We just enjoy the fact that we have our 3 kids in our arms right now!

On February 16, 2005, our boys were safe at grandma and grandpa's house, and Daniel and I traveled on a bus on a cold, windy, rainy day to the Civil Affairs office in Nanchang, Jiangxi, China. We were taken to a cold room on the second floor and could hear the babies crying in another room that was way too far away. They assigned each couple a number, 1-8. We were couple number 5. As the first 4 couples were called, tears would come to my eyes as I watched each daughter being united with her mom and dad. When I finally heard the words, "Couple number 5, Daniel and Jennie," the tears came more freely. We walked, Daniel filming with the camcorder, and I with passports and the one paper that would prove we are her new parents, to where a man walked into the room with a bundle of tears and anxiety in his arms. I had to show our passports and Travel Approval with her picture on it before they would give her to me. Then the most amazing thing happened, just as I had had each of my sons placed in my arms, my daughter was placed in the most longingly empty arms in the world. We both cried and daddy filmed and others took pictures. I cried out of sheer joy that I finally could hold and love my baby girl. She cried because I was so different than anything she had ever felt, seen, smelled or heard in her entire 15 months. We were strangers to her. She was scared. Yet as the day went on, she smiled, winked, laughed and ate. She would look at us with fear and with hope in her eyes all at the same time. I would hold her in front of the mirror and call her "Qiu Qiu" and "Ruthann". Then I would point to Daniel and say "Baba", and to me and say "Mama". She actually started to say mama when I would hold her over the next couple of days.

When we called her new big brothers, they were just itching to see and hold their new little sister. "When are you coming home with Choo Choo??" was always what they would ask each day when we talked. When we did get our boys back in our arms, they would just watch her, put on little shows for her, show her all their toys and her new toys. She would watch them with a look of pure joy and amazement. I will never forget the time she looked at them and then looked at me with a look of "they really are mine, aren't they?!" As she began to talk, she would always refer to her brothers as "my boys".

In just a seemingly short amount of time we went from being a middle class, American, Caucasion, Mormon, just-like-everyone-else family to being a middle class, American, inter-racial, Mormon, just-like-everyone-else family. Different challenges have presented themselves with the growth of our family. We are different from other families, yet we are amazingly the same. The challenges that have come and that will continue to come as we go forward will never compare to the joy we have just being a family. I always tell my children that no matter where they were born, no matter whose belly they came from, no matter what, where, why, or when, no matter how they got into our arms, the most important thing is that they are IN OUR ARMS NOW!

Building our family has been demanding, traumatic, exciting, exhausting, joyful, and has made for the most fabulous experiences of our lives. As we are currently in the midst of another daughter making the journey to our arms and family, we find that our part of this journey is an even more difficult, more rewarding, more insightful part of any of our journeys yet. With Isaac, Samuel and Ruthann in our arms and with Sarajune in our hearts, our family is our greatest asset and reward.

Gong Xi Fa Cai!

Happy Chinese New Year everyone! 3 years ago next Tuesday (Feb. 12) Daniel and I got on a plane for China to get our baby girl. Before we left we decided that Chinese New Year would be an excellent cultural event to institute in our family. This the the 3rd annual Dredge family CNY! We celebrate by wearing our Chinese clothes (mostly for church on Sunday) or red (color of happiness and power) and get chinese take out and give red envelopes with money in them to our kiddos. We hang red lanterns in the house, too. CNY day begins a two week long party called the Spring Festival. It ends 14 days later with the Lantern Festival. We were in China to be a part of the Lantern Festival but were so exhausted by that time in our trip that we experienced it in our hotel room. Here we are with the ravages of Chinese dinner...

After dinner we gave them each a red envelope. They are given by the adults to the children to wish them good luck and good fortune.
They each got 1 dollar...no we aren't cheap we are frugal! No matter the amount, they were excited!
So far in our family we have a Dog, a Pig, a Dragon, a Horse and a Sheep. This is the year of the Rat...Will we have a Rat in the family??? We shall wait and see....

Weather in China

I am sure you have all seen reports of the winter weather that has been hitting China recently. This is particularly upsetting because so many children have been affected who live in the orphanages and in foster care homes. Even though those who care for them are doing their best, there is so much that is needed to help these children. They are cold, hungry and many don't have running water or heat.

Daniel and I were in China 3 years ago this month to adopt Ruthann. While we were there, it was cold (obviously) because it was February. When we visited the orphanage that Ruthie's foster mom was connected to, we were shocked at the "normal" temperature of freezing in the infant room. Now that the power has been affected, as well as water, these babies and children are in dire need. The weather doesn't seem to be slowing down, either.

I guess what I am after here is for help! There are 2 very respected organizations that we know of who's purpose is to provide for the children who don't have a home or family. They also provide medical treatment for the Special Needs children. Donations are accepted to help these kiddos and their caregivers at this time of crisis as well as when the weather is good. I would love to have anyone who knows us, Ruthann or anyone else who is connected to China to donate just a little bit to help these children. One organization is Love Without Boundaries and the other is Half The Sky. You can also read a bit about how the weather is affecting China in general and the children specifically on these sights. I know that we who have families and homes and food and warmth this winter can give these orphaned children just a small part of the food and warmth we enjoy with a small donation.

The Sarajune Project

In my last post, my friend, Andrea, said "happy 15 months down" in the comments. I guess I should qualify that with a short update on our wait for Sarajune. Andrea, Kim and Leanne and I are moms (and moms to be) waiting for our babies from China. I thought that when we started our paperwork in January of 2006, that we would have our baby in our arms by spring of 2007. Here we are in winter of 2007 and still no baby in sight. In fact, I feel completely out of touch when it comes to babies...my baby now is 4 years old! It is looking like another long winter, spring, summer, fall, winter, spring, summer...you get the picture...of waiting. China has slowed down for several reasons. I think the biggest reasons are the Hague Convention that went into effect in China and domestic adoption in China. The 2008 Beijing Olympics and scandals in one of China's international adoption Provinces, have been mentioned as reasons, but I don't think they are key in much of anything right now. So basically we are on China's time table and with the current trends, we may be waiting until 2010 before we see another baby in our home.

The great thing is, I know that this is all part of the plan that Heavenly Father has for our family. After a really rotten summer of crying and second guessing and depression, I have received the peace I need to keep going with our wait. We are going to the right place, have done all the right stuff and she will come at the right time. I am grateful for Daniel and for his strength and patience with me as he is having a hard time with the wait, too. I am so grateful for my kids. They keep me busy and happy and exhausted and excited every day. When Sarajune gets to our family, she better be ready for the experience of a lifetime...but then again we are living the experience of a lifetime everyday.

Happy 15 months Andrea, Kim and Leanne. We are getting closer to our babies every month!