Friday, April 30, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
Wednesday...Webelos and Piano. My kids are getting good at piano. Isaac has earned his ReadyMan badge. This is a gift from neighbor friends. Fun window art.
Friday, April 23, 2010
House a total disaster....Check
Dirty dishes in the sink...stink....Check
1 pot of Mac n Cheese on the table that the kids ended up just eating out of because mom wasn't home to make sure they ate properly but at least they ate....Check
Mom's back full of knots because the stress is finally done and now I can feel them....Check
1 broken freezer with 5 boxes of ice cream sandwiches totally melted and dripping on the meat that is now melting because the freezer isn't even cold....Check
No milk, no eggs, no cereal, only a heel of bread and lots of thawed out chicken nuggets....Check
Enough ice cream sandwiches (from the ice cream recovery act) to cover breakfast for 3 hungry kids....Check
Primary Talent Show done and a huge rockin' success....Check
Less than 7 weeks before I'm on a cruise ship with my man...Check
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Wednesday...Piano and Webelos. Is there really anything else to a Wednesday? I had a Stake Auxillliary training that night that was very good. This is a picture of my 8 year old. This is his "let me blink in the picture" pose.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Monday...One week left of being 7. I invited all the Wolves (Cub Scouts) to have a den meeting at our house. Sam has been waiting 2 years for this! No one came. It was still Easter vacay. But we went to lunch, got Sam's cub book and shirt and had a fun day anyway!Tuesday...Snow. Who invited the snow?! Seriously, there were INCHES of it! With snow boots and gloves we went on with our regular Tuesday duties! Wednesday...I don't think this has anything to do with Wednesday. One of the kids took this picture. The blur is nice. You can't see the wrinkles and stuff. Piano and Webelos. Yay! Thursday...We are hoping this fella will start to get to be home earlier than 8 pm soon. The project will be done soon and then we get our dad back. April 8 marks one month (according to the date) until Sam's baptism! Yay! Friday...I went on Isaac's field trip. 4th graders are really funny. We went to the Air Museum, an historic museum and the Rock and Gem show at the Golden Spike Arena. We all froze our patooties off at a park for lunch. But the Diet Pepper sorta made up for it.
That night Sam got to choose where we went to dinner to celebrate his birthday. He chose our favorite Mexican place. Daniel was taking a picture of him and saying something about his birthday when the wiatress came by. Then she and another gal came and put this grande sombrero on Sam's head and sang Happy Birthday. So fun. Now Ruthie wants to come here for her birthday. Saturday...Boutiful Baskets, Baptism, Ruthie went to a friend's birthday party. Then we all went to the Rock and Gem show. So fun. The kids each took $10 and spent it all on really cool rocks and gems. It was about 5:30 when we finally started home and we were starving. So I took us all out to a Pizzeria close by. One of our favs. We got stuffed and now no one is allowed to ask to go to dinner for 6 months! Except for Daniel and me. We still need to date! Sunday...Church. Lunch. Get together with family to talk and plan the cruise and eat yummy treats. And play with cousins. This is Isaac's B-52 plane he built. He's so talented! I am actually taking some pictures this week. You know, now that we're half way through it.
Have a great rest of your week!
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
First, every child deserves a mother and a father! No question in my mind. EVERY CHILD deserves a mother and a father. There are children all over the world, who, through no fault of their own, do not have a mommy and daddy. Disaster, illness, death, abandonment, selfishness, politics, and many other things have given way to create children we refer to as orphans. There is no way to express the pain in my heart for all those children who do not have a home and a mommy and daddy. To love them. To nurture them. To feed them. To kiss and hug them. To protect them. To provide for them. I would love to see all of the orphaned children and all the children who are abused and/or neglected be placed in a home with parents and love and protection. I am not asking that everyone now try to adopt. It can't work like that. But those who feel a desire to have a child join their family. Who feel that there is one more person who needs to be with them. Do it. Do it boldly. And do it now. And to the governments who put regulations and limitations on who can adopt and under what circumstances they can adopt. Knock it off! Thank you!
Second, International Adoption (from now on IA) is a difficult and heart wrenching experience. I had no idea what we were getting ourselves into when we brought our daughter home. How she would change our lives forever. How she would look at her brothers with so much love and admiration. How she would wrap people around her finger no matter where she was. How she would smile and how my heart sang when she did. Nor did I realize how difficult it would be. I refer to the first 3 months we had her in our arms as “Hell On Wheels”. It was hard. I didn't leave the house for 3 months. I only went grocery shopping after she was asleep for the night. I held on to anything that looked like she trusted me with all I had. I had to prove myself. I had to teach her that I would always be there for her. That I would never leave her. That I love her with all my heart, even though she didn't even know me. After 3 months of intense attachment therapy, I finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel. When a child has been institutionalized, there are deep rooted issues that many are not ever aware of. Some of that comes out as mistrust. Some comes out as violence. Some comes out as self destruction. I can't tell you how grateful I am that Daniel and I (and our boys) stuck with our sweet girl. That we worked hard each and every day and night to teach her that we are hers. Forever. There is help for those who need it. There are people who can step in and correct behavior and teach a parent how to parent a previously institutionalized child. How to attach to a newly adopted child. I wish every IA parent went into IA with eyes wide open and all the resources listed and ready to be contacted!
Third, Adoption is wonderful and part of Heavenly Father's plan. There is something about adoption that rings true and everlasting and real. We are all adopted, afterall. As children of Christ, we are all adopted. Isn't it wonderful?! When we, as husband and wife, realize that birthing our children is not part of the plan for us, many turn to adoption. But it has to be a full hearted turn. Both have to agree and feel the necessary pull to it. If one or both don't, it will never work. Children are an heritage of the Lord (Psalm 127:3). Adoption is hard. Heck! Parenting is hard. But the children are worth it. If they weren't, well my dears, we would have been lost a long time ago. We were all children once ourselves. And to have the wonderful and beautiful title of Parent or more specifically, Mother, we should do everything in our power to give our children everything they need!
And lastly, the little boy who was sent back to Russia. I hope he gets the help he needs. I hope a family is found for him that will love him and nurture him and help him. I hope the mother who sent him on a plane by himself to fly half way around the world has justice brought to her.
And now I'll step off the soapbox.
Sam: "Not everyone is human. You start out as small as a germ. Then you grow into a baby. Then you grow into a toddler. Then you grow into a teenager. Then you grow into a human being. Then you grow into a mom or dad. "
Me: "Oh! So I'm a human being? "
Sam: "Yes. But we (referring to himself and his siblings) aren't human beings yet. But we will be when we're adults....And we're still germs, too."
.....Hmmm. It all makes sense now!
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
And I can't find a table that I like that's less than $150! And the vent has to be able to breathe. The room becomes a vacuous hot cave in the summer. I don't like summer for that very reason!
Monday, April 12, 2010
Sam is my silly boy. He loves to entertain.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
We have had a rough go lately at our house. Not at odds with each other, mind you. Just trying to figure out what we are supposed to do. Where we are supposed to go. We have been in limbo for a couple of months and it was eating us alive. But we finally made a decision that was RIGHT. Isn't it funny when you feel that there needs to be a change so you pray and sit in the temple and fast and talk and you look at all the options and then when it really comes down to it you don't need to actually make a change because there doesn't need to be a change only the experience to get you to appreciate the fact that there won't be change? Don't you love run on sentences?
Let me go back to the beginning. When we were engaged, we looked at how our lives would come together and where we needed to live to do what needed to be done. Without even much discussion, we knew we needed to look for a house close to where Daniel worked at the time. When I saw this house, I knew this was where we needed to be. Daniel kept telling me that the kitchen was small. I know, I don't care, this is our house. We made an offer and it became ours! We knew this was where we would be for the rest of our lives. This was where our grand kids would come and visit us. We love this house. We love the neighborhood. We love our ward. We love the schools. Etc.
Right after getting home with Ruthie, Daniel was offered a job that would have him commuting to Salt Lake. We knew it was the right time and the right job. A wonderful opportunity. So he took it. Then, a couple years later, the company made a decision that would affect us for, well, forever. They wanted to move all the IT people from SL and Provo to one location. The south end of the SL valley. Many people actually live up where we do. And further north. Many people moved. Many found new jobs. We knew he needed to stay at the job and that we needed to stay here.
Then we re-thought that plan. Last year. Maybe we should move closer to work. I would be closer to my family. We could have a bigger kitchen. But even before we got serious about looking for a house, we knew we didn't need to move. The reasons for not moving last year became obvious to us over the course of the year. Those reasons still exist, but this year brought new challenges. Pink lemons, if you will.
Back to the pink lemonade for a minute. You know the saying, “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade”? Meaning, make the best of your situation. But what if the situation demands a change be made? What if the situation isn't horrible, sour, so to speak, and the changes that need to be made aren't horrible? Just change. Just action needed to be taken. Not negative, not horrible, not sour, but life changing nonetheless. Pink lemons. Did you like that I wrote nonetheless? I thought that was totally cool!
Our pink lemons showed up as a move. Relocation. New schools. New ward. New neighborhood. New friends. Not horrible. Just change. Different. With opportunities. Potential for growth and learning. Pink lemons.
So Daniel and I began the process of deciding what was best for our family. Daniel doesn't get home until 8 pm most nights. He is working most Saturdays and sometimes on Sunday. Some nights he'll get a phone call at 11 pm from someone needing his help with something. Then he doesn't get to bed until after midnight and then still has to get up and go again in the morning. Our kids see their dad long enough to brush their teeth and say goodnight. It sucks, to tell ya the truth.
So we looked at moving on a more serious level. Actually making plans for our house so we can sell or rent it. Making lists of what we wanted in a house and what we would be willing to leave out if necessary. Knowing that our present situation could leave this house sitting empty for as long as necessary, but needing to be in a house and ready for school to start at the end of July. We have been stressed out. Our burden has been heavy. We knew that we needed to make these serious changes. I even made it all known to my Priesthood advisor in my calling so that a change could be made in Primary. This was all very painful.
Then something happened. A potential job offer. From Daniel's previous boss at his old job. He could be just 5 minutes away! An answer to prayers??? Well. It just threw in another angle that made things more muddy. What if the job wasn't actually offered? What if she couldn't offer the money he required? What if? What if? What if? Pink lemons all over the place. Then the phone call came. But things didn't really go smoothly when Daniel said he couldn't leave his current job until later in the summer. Umm. She needs to fill the position sooner. So that just added to the confusion and made the burden that much heavier. So we focused on moving.
I began looking for a house. Over the weekend we went and looked at a couple of them. Do you know what it's like to drive through a neighborhood and feel squished and suffocated? That's what it felt like. Those were definitely not where we were going. But we pressed on.
For the last couple of months we have been focused on the pink lemons and making pink lemonade. Taking a situation and making necessary changes so we could be happy and have our family be together and happier. We need our dad home with us. We need a not so stressed out dad. We need to make a serious change.
On Monday and Tuesday I sat with a goal in mind to find as many homes as a I could in the areas we were interested in with all the things I wanted in a house in the budget we named. I started to write down addresses. I just didn't LOVE the houses. If the kitchen was big, the dining room had carpet. If the wall colors were perfect, the kitchen was dull. If the kitchen was just not me, the rest of the house was beautiful. And on and on and on. I was feeling defeated. But we still have a few months. And each time I would turn around and see my house, I would just feel so happy about MY home. My family room is coming together just how I want it and I love it. But I need to leave it for someone else to enjoy. And possibly paint over.
Tuesday night Daniel and I were sitting in bed and wondering what to do. It seems we just figure we're moving but we aren't thrilled. So I kept asking him what we are going to do. Finally he said, “Let's just stay.” At first I thought it was just the tired in him. But he kept saying it. Do you know the feeling of a burden being lifted? That's what we had. A smile came to my face that is still there. I feel lighter. I am happy. We are staying here.
So why all the drama? My feeling is that in order to truly appreciate our home and who we are here, we needed to be brought to a point of losing it. Of having to start all over. Of talking my kids into all the “wonderful” things that would happen when we move. We are happy here. When I told the kids this morning, they all smiled and got a bit giddy. We love it here.
So now we focus on new carpet for us to enjoy. Finishing the basement so the boys will have their own rooms. Here. In this house. I will finish the family room and then move on to Ruthie's room. I will continue to love my friends and to build new friendships. Here. In my own home. And maybe you'll find me drinking pink lemonade more often. In my small, wonderful kitchen.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Wednesday...Piano and Webelos. Isaac is working on his Readyman badge this month. This is a heart shaped chicken nugget Isaac found. I don't know how he got to Wendy's to get lunch. But he did! We learned about the parable of the 10 Virgins and lit our oil lamp.