My Soapbox.

As many of you are aware, there has been some news time given to International Adoption as of late. My heart is broken and I feel the need to stand on a soapbox for a moment.

First, every child deserves a mother and a father! No question in my mind. EVERY CHILD deserves a mother and a father. There are children all over the world, who, through no fault of their own, do not have a mommy and daddy. Disaster, illness, death, abandonment, selfishness, politics, and many other things have given way to create children we refer to as orphans. There is no way to express the pain in my heart for all those children who do not have a home and a mommy and daddy. To love them. To nurture them. To feed them. To kiss and hug them. To protect them. To provide for them. I would love to see all of the orphaned children and all the children who are abused and/or neglected be placed in a home with parents and love and protection. I am not asking that everyone now try to adopt. It can't work like that. But those who feel a desire to have a child join their family. Who feel that there is one more person who needs to be with them. Do it. Do it boldly. And do it now. And to the governments who put regulations and limitations on who can adopt and under what circumstances they can adopt. Knock it off! Thank you!

Second, International Adoption (from now on IA) is a difficult and heart wrenching experience. I had no idea what we were getting ourselves into when we brought our daughter home. How she would change our lives forever. How she would look at her brothers with so much love and admiration. How she would wrap people around her finger no matter where she was. How she would smile and how my heart sang when she did. Nor did I realize how difficult it would be. I refer to the first 3 months we had her in our arms as “Hell On Wheels”. It was hard. I didn't leave the house for 3 months. I only went grocery shopping after she was asleep for the night. I held on to anything that looked like she trusted me with all I had. I had to prove myself. I had to teach her that I would always be there for her. That I would never leave her. That I love her with all my heart, even though she didn't even know me. After 3 months of intense attachment therapy, I finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel. When a child has been institutionalized, there are deep rooted issues that many are not ever aware of. Some of that comes out as mistrust. Some comes out as violence. Some comes out as self destruction. I can't tell you how grateful I am that Daniel and I (and our boys) stuck with our sweet girl. That we worked hard each and every day and night to teach her that we are hers. Forever. There is help for those who need it. There are people who can step in and correct behavior and teach a parent how to parent a previously institutionalized child. How to attach to a newly adopted child. I wish every IA parent went into IA with eyes wide open and all the resources listed and ready to be contacted!

Third, Adoption is wonderful and part of Heavenly Father's plan. There is something about adoption that rings true and everlasting and real. We are all adopted, afterall. As children of Christ, we are all adopted. Isn't it wonderful?! When we, as husband and wife, realize that birthing our children is not part of the plan for us, many turn to adoption. But it has to be a full hearted turn. Both have to agree and feel the necessary pull to it. If one or both don't, it will never work. Children are an heritage of the Lord (Psalm 127:3). Adoption is hard. Heck! Parenting is hard. But the children are worth it. If they weren't, well my dears, we would have been lost a long time ago. We were all children once ourselves. And to have the wonderful and beautiful title of Parent or more specifically, Mother, we should do everything in our power to give our children everything they need!

And lastly, the little boy who was sent back to Russia. I hope he gets the help he needs. I hope a family is found for him that will love him and nurture him and help him. I hope the mother who sent him on a plane by himself to fly half way around the world has justice brought to her.

And now I'll step off the soapbox.