Saturday, February 26, 2011

A Loss.

It's expected that you grieve at the loss of a child that everyone knew, loved and misses.

But how do you explain that you are grieving for the loss of a child you never knew?

Or that may have never been born?

It is impossible.

Unless you are doing it.

We are doing it.

We are grieving.

Even though we never held a baby in our arms. With a name. A closet full of clothes. A favorite blankie. We are grieving.

It is a loss when adoption doesn't happen the way you had hoped and dreamed it would.

Our 5 year adoption journey is now at a close.

But please don't cry for me Argentina!

We grieve, but we are at peace.

And Daniel and I know we have the most bestest and greatest and most dynamic kids in the whole world! Seriously! We do. If you don't believe me, come see!

I would like to thank those who have helped us travel this 5 year journey. Thank you for your prayers. Thank you for your fasts. Thank you for taking us to the temple with you. Thank you for your tears, your concern, your genuine interest in the growth of our family. Thank you for sharing our pass along cards. Thank you for thinking of us when certain circumstances had you thinking of us. Thank you for putting our pass along cards on your blogs and up at the gym and grocery store. Thank you to each of you whose shoulders were wet from my tears. Thank you to each of you who, when I said I was okay, knew better and gave loving hugs. Thank you to our families who willingly supported, fasted and prayed. Thank you to my adoption friends who “know” and know that I love and appreciate you!

Please understand that we are not ready to talk about our most recent experience. Hugs and kind words are greatly appreciated.


Kim said...

Love you guys so much!!!!!

Andrea said...

Ditto on what Kim says. When you are ready, give me a call.

Kim said...

I love you and your awesome family so much. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Jen said...

Much love and prayers for you and your family!

Jennifer B. said...

Sorry to hear of your loss. I'll pray for your healing. Give each kid an extra hug today. I'm sure your can all use them.

Susie said...

So sorry to hear of your recent loss. My heart hurts with you, but you will rise again. The Lord has a purpose and a plan...unfortunately we don't always understand why and how we are to get there. You and your husband are awesome people don't ever forget that. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I will pray for peace and happiness for you.

Christine Dallimore said...

Oh Jennie, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I am also sorry for the delay of responding. I haven't checked my email and blog in weeks. I totally understand your feelings. I just delivered and lost our baby girl yesterday morning at 18 weeks. I may not understand the loss of a baby through adoption...but I do understand the loss of hopes, dreams and such. Please email me if you would like to talk. I'm here to listen and cry with you...