Thursday, February 9, 2012

Under The Influence And A Thought For Thursday.

Years ago I was serving as the Enrichment counselor in the Relief Society presidency in our ward. I worked with wonderful women in that presidency. One Sunday the president was conducting and was going through announcements and then said that I would give the Enrichment announcement. Only she forgot my name. It was funny and so I got up and said something to the effect of "we've only been working together for a year and she can't remember my name" ha ha ha. And then I announced.

When I got home from church the message light on the phone was blinking. So I clicked it on only to get a hang up. So I checked the caller ID and called the woman back. I was barely into my "what's up?" when she laid into me. She said I was so mean and that I didn't even see the president crying when I made the forgot my name comment. She accused me of being a Nazi bi---, oh yes, a Nazi bi---. She told me I had better apologize to the president in front of the entire Relief Society to redeem myself. I couldn't even respond before she hung up on me.

I got off and went to Daniel. I wondered why she was so angry with me. Later that day Daniel was on the computer and found an email from this woman. It went into detail about how completely awful I was and that I should be released from my calling.

Daniel left town the next morning. Thanks very much. So I called the RS president and asked her to come to my house please. She could tell I was upset and came right over. I apologized profusely to her for my comment and asked for her forgiveness. She was confused. She said she was laughing, not crying. Only she had a few cold sores on her mouth and when she laughed they broke open and so she had to cover her mouth and maybe that's what this woman saw and mistook it for crying. We talked for quite a while about what had happened once I got home the day before and when she left a while later I knew I hadn't offended her and that I really was a good person.

So as time went on, this woman went to the Bishop and told him that I needed to be released because I was so hard to work with. The Bishop had already spoken with the RS president and told this woman that there was no offense taken that day. That the relationship between the 2 of us was fine and that I was not going to be released.

So the anger in this woman bubbled for quite some time. She was released from her calling shortly thereafter so that I didn't have to work with her and the anger she had for me. I really struggled with this experience for a long time. I took the Nazi comment to heart and it effected the way I worked with the other women on my board. But then one day, about 2 weeks after the initial incident, the other counselor in our presidency came by my house. She knew I was still reeling and wanted to give some comfort. So we talked for a while and then she offered some advice that helped then and continues to influence my life now. So here's the influential comment and the thought for Thursday...

You can choose to be a duck or a porcupine. A duck lets all the water roll right off its back while the porcupine lets the water sit in between its quills and fester. It's better to be a duck.

I chose to be a duck at that point. I enjoyed the rest of the time I served in that calling. The word Nazi doesn't even come into play when I go through what or who I am. I am so grateful for that advice and the influence it has had in my life.



Colby and Jessica said...

Oh my gosh!! I cannot believe that woman had the nerve to say something like that! You are definitely not a ... you know. That is kind of funny that she chose to put those two words together, though. Where do people come up with their material??

Anyway, I like the lesson. I will remember to be a duck. Sometimes it's hard not to be a porcupine!

Laurie said...

I remember you talking about this before, but is still floors me that someone could be so rude! Good for you for being the bigger person and sticking to your calling. Good moral of the story- I need to be more like a duck!