Saturday, August 24, 2013

Uterus For Sale.

This is my baby girl with a pillow in her shirt.  Now.  Picture me, many years older, with a belly that size on my adult body.  There you go.  My belly measured large enough for full term twins.  A couple weeks before Sam was born.  And he was 4 and a half weeks early. Thank you very much.
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Yep.  I was miserable.  And large.  So now I want you to think of the uterus that held the 4 and a half week early, 9.5 pound baby. You probably wouldn't guess that my uterus is very tone.  Or is my uterus toned?  I don't know.  But it's a very strong and able uterus.  Even for doing the large baby thing twice. 
My doctor had told me on several occasions that my uterus is toned.  In fact, after giving birth to Isaac the doctor took my uterus out to squeeze it before putting it back in.  He commented on the muscle tone of my marvelous uterus.  Then I told them I could feel their hands in my body.  I woke up much later.
So.  Anyone want a well toned, only used twice, not being used anymore, shapely and able uterus?  It's for sale.  There's got to be a woman out there who wants it. I will gladly give it to you. 
On the other hand, my belly jiggles when I laugh, my cheeks wobble when I walk, and, if I don't cross my legs while I sneeze, I will pee my pants.  My uterus may be the only tone thing on me. Or in me.
Aren't you glad you came to my blog today? 

2 comments:

Kristi said...

you know you really are hilarious

Colby and Jessica said...

HAHAHA!!! I am SO glad I came to your blog!!! You are so funny! I love you!