The Last Picture.

From the Drat files:

Last night we were preparing for another family movie night. All was going well. We decided to make the Jiffy Pop we got at the family Christmas party the night before.

Getting the Pop stuff ready to go...

Then. The burner was preheated and the Jiffy Pop was set down.

So far, all is well.
It begins to pop and grow.
So exciting!!
Please don't focus too long on the grime around the burner. It may cause problems for you.
It gets really big and the pops are coming fast.
We can't wait!

And then the camera fell on to the floor.

I picked it up.

The lens was busted.

Really.

Busted.

The camera is no more.

Drat.

I don't know why these stupid things keep happening to me.

But I'm sick and tired of it.

And somebody better do something about it.

A Christmas Review.

Christmas 2010.

What a wonderful Christmas!

But first, I want to say a word about this guy. My guy. On our cruise back in June we made a deal. We would forgo the whale watching excursion in exchange for a diamond for me. We never found a good diamond on the cruise. Then when we got home I got rear ended and we needed all available funds to purchase a new vehicle. So the diamond was fast becoming an abandoned idea.

Christmas morning, after realizing a week before that a prong had busted on my wedding ring, I got my diamond. I haven't gotten a picture of it yet because my laptop went the way of the dino. So I just wasn't going to blog it. Now it's getting sized. I should have it back tomorrow and will show it off then. So the diamond deal was realized. For months Daniel had been talking to my sister in law who works for Ari Diamonds about a ring. And now I have it. Well, tomorrow I'll have it. Then my wedding ring can get fixed!

And no, I'm not blogging on the family computer. Yesterday while out getting ingredients for salad for last night's family party, we looked at laptops. And wouldn't you know it?! Sale! So I now have a laptop again. It's nice. It's gray. It was drastically inexpensive!

Daniel...I love you! Thank you for being mine!

Now on to the Christmas review....

Last Wednesday the kids had a sing along. Let's just say that we brought the camera, but weren't positioned to get great pictures of the kiddos. So I'll try to point them out to you.

Ruthie is in the purple shirt, which you can't really see, over to the left a bit.

The first graders sang Santa Clause Is Coming To Town. A Capella. They were awesome!

Isaac and the 5th graders sang...something. None of us can remember. Isaac can't remember. We're on vacation!

Isaac is in the middle off to the left. All the yellow shirts around him are the 5th and 6th grade choir.
Sam and the third graders sang Jingle Bell Rock. And boy did they rock! Even his teacher, who I LOVE!! was dancing while leading them! Do you see their faces? That's not just for the song. That's their love for their incredible teacher. She isn't allowed to retire until after she gets Ruthie in third grade in 2 years!

That evening we took the Front Runner to Salt Lake to have dinner and see the lights at Temple Square. Here is Daniel and 2 kiddos as we wait for the train!

And the third kiddo. It was cold!

We had lots of fun and are glad we only do it once a year!

The following evening we got a visit from Santa slash Grandpa. That's what the kids call him.

Here is Sam telling what he wants in Santa slash Grandpa's ear.

Then Isaac got a turn. He was very serious as he told Santa slash Grandpa what he wanted.

Ruthie was next. She was just happy to sit on his lap!

After their visit we went to a local home to see a live Nativity. Every year we forget. This year I put in on the calendar. It was so great. It was freezing and the straw we sat on was damp from the rain the night before, but the story and the music and the feeling....mmmmm....just perfect!

Then we came home and had hot cocoa and read Luke 2.

Christmas Eve was spent at Abbie and Poppy's house. We had dinner and then the kids did the nativity.

As we waited for the kids to get dressed, Uncle Adam, who is a new daddy to baby Reed, did his rendition of The Circle Of Life.

All the cute kids who participated in the Nativity. Poppy narrates. The oldest kids help dress the younger kids and Isaac took pictures.

Baby Reed was baby Jesus, but was taken off stage when Mary almost dropped him on his newborn crown while trying to pick up the binkie.

And then came Christmas.

While the kids were dreaming of sugar plumbs dancing in their heads, we set up.

The quilts that actually got to be Christmas quilts!

In each stocking we got Lagoon Season Passports. We will have a stupendous summer!

In the morning, we waited for everyone to wake up.

Then did Baby Formation.

That's the kids way of saying they go in birth order. Baby Formation. Works for me.

Can we please go now???

The bustle of Christmas morning.

We got movies and Wii games.

Isaac went to put a memory card in the Wii system and came back.

Daniel found a new remote in his stocking and asked the kids what it could be for?

The obvious answer was that it went to the TV in my bedroom.

.........

Then it clicked!

We upgraded our 12 year old TV with a broken on/off button and lines running through the picture.

We feel kinda fancy now!

And an important part of Christmas...

Family

Jesus

Health

Joy

and...

Chocolate

We hope you all had a wonderful Christmas.

And soon, a fantastic new year!

It's Dead, Jim.

I wanted to quickly wish all of you the Merriest of a Merry Christmas this year! And I hope the New Year brings blessings and Joy!

Last week my wedding ring lost a prong. I cried. My most favorite jeans broke. And not along a seam. Then my laptop lost its life. I cried again. So I have to use the family computer for a while. My laptop was a Christmas gift exactly 3 years ago. Now it's dead, Jim. If bad things happen in threes, I should be good for a while.

I may not be posting for a bit. I must share this computer with 4 other people. I have to bide my time. Maybe when they all go back to school and work...

A Mandate.

So last Friday night I got a sitter (2 sitters in fact) and Daniel and I went to dinner and to a movie. Tron to be exact. Awesome! So glad I chose it! When we got to the theater we saw a group of men from a previous ward we were in. We said hi and went on our way. They actually had seats (I love assigned seats at the movies) right in front of us. Daniel asked one of them, "So how did you all get out tonight without your wives?" To which he replied, "How did you get out without your w...... hahahaha." Funny. To which I almost replied, "Just don't tell his wife. This is girlfriend night out." But then he said, "Mandate."

So I took all that home with me. After a couple of days I finally told Daniel..."I just don't get it. It's a mandate that they all go out and leave their wives at home with the kids while they all get to go out and see a movie??!!"

Daniel clarified. Man-date. A group of men on a date.

Oh.

I still don't get it.

And if you get a chance to see Tron, Go 3-D! Totally worth it!

A Sunday Night Visit.

We were sitting on the couch and beginning to watch a Christmas movie last night when the door was knocked. Daniel and the kids ran to it. In walked Santa. My kids all started yelling, "It's Grandpa!" But this wasn't Grandpa. He sat down and started to talk to the kids.

Here is Sam on Santa's lap.

Then Ruthie's turn.

Now you'd think I'd've turned on the flash....but nooooo.

Wait. The flash is now on.
And finally Isaac sat on his lap. Under duress, but with a promise of an extra 15 minutes of Wii time today. Bribery never hurt anybody.

We want to thank our neighbor, ahem, Santa, for dropping by Sunday night.

It was a fun visit!

A Little Of This And That.

Last Saturday Daniel put up little fences around the trees in the yard. The goats have been enjoying them. During the week, the kids looked out the window and saw this. Cas, in the fence, eating the tree. Daniel fixed that fence right up today.

At Pack Meeting this week, Isaac earned his Webelos badge. He also earned 1 Compass Point along with it. He is working to get his Arrow Of Light before he turns 11.

I was so proud of my Wolves, too. I had 14 of my 16 boys come. See Sam in the background? We have uniform inspections now and each boy passed inspection. We are also working on the 2 R words for the flag ceremony. Reverence and Respect. They had both!

Did you know that in one week Christmas will be over?? Hello! Speaking of Christmas, this is the 4th quilt top that contains much of the extra squares I used in the kids' quilt tops. Here's the problem. I forgot about the quilts. I just sent Daniel out to Walllllmart at 6 pm on a Saturday night, the Saturday night before Christmas, to get batting. If I don't get on these quilts soon, they'll be New Year's quilts. Or perhaps birthday gifts for 2011.

So. Are you ready for Christmas?

My Christmas Joy.

I love the magic of Christmas. I love that my kids believe in that magic. I love that they believe that Grandpa dressed in a red suit is santa and that he and Grandma give them each a bag with an orange and peanuts and maybe a small gift. They know that mom and dad are “helpers” of sorts and I love that it's magic to them. I love the nativity scenes on my mantel and in our play room. I love that baby Jesus is at the center of each of them. Even when the kids rearrange them to play, Jesus always remains in the center.

I love my prelit tree. And I love the red apron around the bottom with my kids' handprints from each Christmas since 2002. I love that my kids are excited to put their handprints on for 2010. I love all the ornaments on my tree. Lots of Christmas flowers and all the ornaments my kids have made. Nursery. Preschool. Kindergarten. All the grades. Cub scouts. I love those ornaments. I love the angel on top of our tree. And I love my pine scented candle.

I love the smells of baking. The plates we put together for neighbors (hopefully this weekend). I love the things our neighbors bring. Not so much that it's something to eat, but that they thought of us. I love having wonderful neighbors and friends. I love all the Christmas cards on my wall. I hang each one after I open it and read it. I love listening to Christmas music in stores and in the car.

I love the family time we have together. Going to see Christmas lights. Going to a movie. Going to Grandma and Grandpa's or Abbie and Poppy's houses. Choosing and wrapping the gifts for the Ward Angel Tree. Discussing our friend-family's upcoming trip to Mexico to build and donate time and things and giving them what we can to help. I love making sure my kids have some change in hand to put in the Salvation Army can outside the door. I love hot cocoa and marshmallows and candy canes. I love my kids planning a Christmas Family Home Evening and then doing a fantastic job. I love watching Luke 2 and seeing the newborn Jesus in Mary's arms. And I cry because at the same time we see that wonderful moment, we can hear the flies. They are in a stable afterall.

I love the expected traditions of all those things above and I am excited at the new traditions we will start this year. I love that Christmas this year isn't about big and expensive gifts for extended family. It's service and fun and just simple things done. And spending precious time together.

I love that we recognize our Savior's birth. He was born. He lived. He suffered. He died. He lives. On that one night 2000 years ago, our lives began. The King of Kings was born in a manger. And He brought with Him, Hope, Joy, Peace and Life. Oh how I love this time of year.

The Difference.

Last night Daniel and I were watching Seinfeld. Again. And it was the episode when George's phone line is crossed with "Donna Chang"'s line. Remember? Everyone who speaks to her on the phone thinks she's Chinese. Why? The name for one. Donna Chang. Then she and Jerry plan a date. At her suggestion they go to a Chinese restaurant. She has an acupuncture class. They all expect to meet a Chinese lady. And when George's mom meets her, she says, sounding highly disappointed, "You're not Chinese!" We laughed.

So here's the difference. Or maybe a similarity.

Ruthann, let's say, Jones. I won't use our last name. It's a thing with me and my blog. But if you know my last name, just say it...Ruthann ..... If you talked to her on the phone and she wanted to go get a cheeseburger on a date. If she taught an aerobics class. If she talked about, well, just the things she would normally talk about. Would you expect a white lady? Look at the name again. You wouldn't think, "Hm. I'm excited to meet this really nice Chinese lady." You wouldn't really even say, "Hm. I'm excited to meet this really nice white lady."

I really don't know what the point is. I just look at my beautiful daughter and know she is Ruthann. That's just who she is to me. But I wonder, when others see or hear her name, are they surprised by the face they see when they meet her? I know that those who know her, know that if ever there was a Ruthann, she is her!

Life may get very interesting and perhaps a little amusing as she gets older.

Oh. And she's not allowed to date until she 35. I think that's reasonable.

Joy In The Stable.

I inherited this wonderful Nativity a few years ago from my mom. It could go outside on the porch, but I love having it in the play room next to the Christmas tree. This Nativity is sturdy and only once have we had to glue a Magi gift back on a hand. My kids have been known to lay down in front of the Nativity to play with it. I have heard wars, horse stories, a baby screaming, a wise man scolding and so much more. But when they know I won't come in to intrude, I see them playing out that first Christmas night.

This is the set up from the last "play" with the Nativity.

A little Christmas added to the stable. And apparently it was raining. So all the people and animals are inside.

Next to the palm tree you can find a poinsettia flower.
Right behind the shepherd, a snowman can be found.

And then there is the holly. My kids think it's mistletoe. So it's hanging from the ceiling inside the stable. Over Mary and Joseph. Hee hee.

But what I love and what brings the most Joy is that all the wise men, the shepherd, the ox, the mule, the sheep and Mary and Joseph are all surrounding and facing baby Jesus.

And isn't that what it's all about?!

If you haven't put Christ in the center of your Christmas, it's time.

Joy In Many Ways.

First of all.....

Joy in the form of the most fun and the most interesting and most cold (it was freezing!) and most donut amped Joy producing people in my life.

Then...

The sugar coated Joy.

Every year before Christmas my mom does Abbie's Christmas Cookie Party.

Because of busy December Sunday evenings, each family was given a take home cookie party.

It starts with icing and candy.

You add an Isaac.
A Samuel.

A Ruthann.

And a silly dad.

And you get lots of sugar coated Joy.

For Christmas this year I am making quilts for the kids. I got tons of the black with white dot squares and then tons of other fabric from Daniel's parents. So I cut all the other squares and then sewed them.

The green inspired number is Isaac's.

The blue with the constellation looking center is Samuel's.

And the lovely purple is Ruthann's.

Those are the tops. Now I will work on the middles and the binding then quilt the squares. Easy peasy lemon squeezy and a very inexpensive gift! And I know they will be the source of warm comfy Joy on movie nights!

Last night I got a knock at the door.

Remember this fun new bread basket?

I mentioned tears of Joy at new tea towels to go in it.

My lovely neighbor Mandy handed me a plate of cookies and then handed me something else and said "I brought you some Joy".

Tea Towels!

Tears!

Joy!

Green.

Just in time for Christmas bread sticks!

And red!

My favorite color of all time.

And wonderful for Christmas rolls.

Joy in a basket.

Minus the bread sticks.

Thank you Mandy!

So there is my Joy for this week.

I hope your week has been as full of Joy as mine!

Brrrrrrr.

So here's the thing. Now that it's December, I'm hoping for actual December weather. No more of this January gray depressing 30 below stuff. C'mon. It's cold. The first problem is my coat. I have a very nice and stylish Fall/Spring coat. Perfect for running through the rain. Which I've done. But not so much for running into the school in 30 below temps. Which I've done. I have added 2-3 long sleeved shirts, a sweatshirt and a scarf to help. But the unseemly temps don't comply. So I was looking at really warm and beautiful coats at Kohl's. I need to save my money. Right now I have a $10 Kohl's cash thingy and a 15% off Kohl's thingy. But I don't got the cash. So I guess I freeze. Wait! You say I have a red coat in the basement that should do it? Please. Did I tell you I've put on a couple pounds? And it's old enough to need plastic surgery.

The second problem is my blood. It's really warm. In the Summer I seriously sweat so much my elbows stink. So Winter comes as a special treat. I can wear layers, you see. I can't really remove stuff when I'm HOT. It would be unseemly. (That's twice now I've used that word) So now that my blood is thinning due to the extremely cold temps, I have a real problem. Let me lay it out for you. I'm in my house. Not doing anything. Just sitting maybe. I get cold. Brrr. So I turn on the fireplace which has been turned up ever so much during this cold spell. Then I turn on the heater. Brrr. Oh it really starts to feel good. Then I remember I need to:fold laundry, bake bread, do dishes, make dinner, vacuum, sweep, wash windows, dust, wash walls, whatever. Actually just getting up and walking to the bathroom will then make me sweat. Seriously. I start to sweat. So I turn off the heat producing machines and open a door. I cool a bit. But it really is seriously cold outside. So it comes down to this: when I start having hot flashes, I will have to sit on my couch and just read a book and have someone bring me stuff so I don't have to move. I might actually have to run the AC in the Winter.

The third problem comes in the form of 3 goats. Baaa baaaa baaaa baaaaaaaa baaaaa translates to I waaant to cooome iiiin I neeeeeed some more fooooood Pleeeease heeeeelllllp meeeee. I can talk goat really well in person. Just ask. I'll oblige. I don't want them in the house and Daniel says they'll be fine. But 30 below is just freakin' cold! I have to talk myself into the fact that they are farm animals, outside animals, furry animals, fat animals. They'll be fine. I'll just freak out when the kids are born. No problem.

So there you have it. The quote that comes to mind as I review what I just typed is “Your pills”. You know, from Wayne's World. Your pills. Medication. Might be nice. Or necessary.

Finally!

I finally bought one! I would have bought one a long time ago, but could never find one.

Sheesh!

You would think that because everyone should have one and I didn't that I would find one.

But I didn't. I couldn't. They were no where to be found.

Then

Finally

I found one

A Bread Basket!

It's so much better than putting the rolls or bread sticks on a plate and hope they don't slide off.

Which they always do.

This lovely number is from the $1 dollar store.

I dressed it up with a grimy looking tea towel. If you want to surprise me with something that would make me weep for Joy, A Tea Towel or two would do it!!

Seriously.

I would weep for Joy!

And then the inevitable.

Bread sticks!
It's time for dinner.
See ya!

The Sting.

Another thing I have learned over this long waiting period is how acute the sting can be. And this covers many things. The sting of not being in control. The sting of another announcing she's pregnant and has a due date. The sting of a young single teenager choosing to parent on her own. The sting of a failed adoption. The sting of knowing someone has experienced a loss. The sting of personally experiencing a loss and not having anyone understand that. The sting of parents hurting their children. The sting of letting go so I can move on.

I really don't want this post to be about how hurt one can be. Just know that the sting is harsh. It sits right in the middle of my heart and my belly. And it will always be there.

But what I have learned as I have felt those stings is that they can be lessened. They can be healed. The lessening comes in putting all my trust and faith in the Lord. He knows me. I know that. In fact, even when I complain, I know He knows me and the sting I am feeling. He will lessen the sting if I let Him. Sometimes it's hard to let Him. But isn't that why He came? Didn't He suffer and bleed so that I don't have to? The sting can only be lessened when we turn to Him. Completely. Wholly. Faithfully. When I let Him help me, the sting lessens and the healing begins.


I am not completely healed. In fact, it may take years before I don't feel the sting of so many things so acutely. But I am on my way. When I pray I feel peace. When I look at a new baby I feel peace. When I go to the temple I feel peace. When I look at my blessings-Daniel, Isaac, Samuel and Ruthann-I certainly feel peace. And those are the things I love to give my heart and soul to. My sweet blessings. They are here and they are mine. And blessings are salve to a sting. In putting my trust and faith in my Savior and giving all I have to my family, I am happy and have peace.

A Moment.

Yesterday in Sacrament Meeting we sang the hymn For the Beauty of the Earth. Ruthie was singing from my hymn book with me. We got to the 3rd verse which says...

"For the joy of human love, brother, sister, parent, child, friends on earth, and friends above, for all gentle thoughts and mild, Lord of all to thee we raise this our hymn of grateful praise."

As we sang "friends on earth and friends above", there was a physical reaction from my daughter. And I knew right then that she knows that she has a "friend above".

We miss you and we love you Lyndsay.

Adoption Friendships.

So what else have I learned during this long wait for another child? I wish I could share it all with you. But, again, I am doing highlights.

Today I want to talk about the friendships.

The China paper chase process began almost 5 years ago. When our agency people came to visit us and begin, they mentioned a family who was also starting the process who lives just 5 minutes away. They said they know us! I was a tad confused. Who else is going to China that lives 5 minutes away and knows us? No one had said anything to us. Then they explained.

That began a friendship that I have cherished. Kim, Jon and their daughter Jessica. Jon is actually a brother to Daniel's sister's hubby. Did that make sense? So we had seen each other and chatted every once in a while at family gatherings for Daniel's sister and Jon's brother and their family. But now, with China in our sights, Kim and I became very close.

We spend our summers at the dollar movies with our kids. And let me tell you about our kids. Jessica and Ruthann are like long lost sisters when they're together. I love the time our kids can spend together. Kim and I meet for lunch often. We confide in each other. Church callings, adoption, raising our adopted daughters, marriage, home, extended family, China, and anything else that comes to mind.

Recently Kim and Jon looked into the Special Needs program in China. And guess what?! They found their daughter!! They are getting all the paperwork done so they can go get her and bring her home. I am so thrilled for them. Jessica will be 10 soon. I think she's ready to be a big sister.

Another friendship I cherish is Leanne's. One day, while in the paper chase process, I got a phone call. She said she was with the same agency and wanted to know more about adopting from Guatemala. I was happy to talk adoption, but told her I didn't know anything at all about Guatemala's program. She meant China. We talked quite a bit. I can do that about China adoption. We became fast friends.

Leanne and I used to get together often for lunch to talk about adoption, our agency, children and other things. You wanna know something amazing about Leanne? She adopted her daughter almost 2 years ago. I knew her as a single lady with no children. Now I know her as a mom. Her daughter is beautiful and Leanne has blossomed into a beautiful mom. We were supposed to go to China together. (at least we hoped we would) I don't know if we will. But I am grateful for the friendship I have with her that I otherwise wouldn't without this long wait.

Those aren't all of them. Andrea is a great lady who still waits with her husband. I hope she goes to China soon!!! Very soon!

I have had phone conversations with others who are also waiting. Who have, in one way or another, affected my life. If we hadn't began the process when we did, Kim and I most likely wouldn't have solidified a friendship that will last forever. If we hadn't began when we did and told our agency that they could give our number to people looking into adopting from China, I would never have gotten that phone call from Leanne. And so many other people would never have touched my life.

And then there are the people who have touched my life just right here at home. I have had people who I have known for a long time confide in me about infertility, adoption, loss, foster care and many other things. Who knew that just having paperwork in China and a profile up through LDSFS that I could connect with so many people.

I will never regret beginning this process. Even if my arms never hold another baby that I call my own. These friendships have been salve to my soul. Thank you Kim. Thank you Leanne. Thank you Andrea. Thank you lady in southern Utah. Thank you perky gal from Salt Lake. Thank you everyone. You really may never know how your friendship has lifted me up.

Saturday Night Fun.

Adam and Eve and Pinchmequick went down to the river to bathe

Adam and Eve got drownded

Who do you think got saved?

Just A Suggestion.

Need a role play idea?

Role Player 1: High powered executive traveling by plane out of state

Role Player 2: T*S*A* Agent

Have fun.

Temple Blessings.

As I have been looking over my list of things learned while waiting for another baby over the past 5 years, I get a little choked up. I really have learned a lot. But more than that, the things that I have already known have been re-taught and re-emphasized so that my knowledge has grown and been made stronger.

One of the greatest blessings of adoption, actually, the crowning glory of adoption, is going to the temple together. Not as a couple, but as a family. When we went to the temple to have Ruthann sealed to us it was an experience that taught our boys the beauty and strength found in the House of the Lord. Daniel and I have wanted that opportunity again!! And so have my kids. But the truth is, we can't take our kids in the temple just because we want to. There has to be a purpose while they are so young. Here's what I've learned about taking my family to the temple during the wait.

We sat in the temple as a family one day. Daniel was kneeling across from me, Ruthann was between us being held by Abbie, our boys were sitting on the closest chairs with Grandma, our dads were sitting as witnesses, and my brother Aaron was close by in spirit. Much of our family was there with us. What a beautiful day. Our daughter was sealed to us as if she were born in the covenant. I cried tears of Joy that day.

We talk about that day a lot. I want them to remember it. To want to go back. So far it's working. All of my children want to go back. We talk about what mom and dad do when we go to the temple. We go so often that when I asked one of our babysitters to babysit, she said, "Doing the usual?" I looked at her kind of strangely I guess. She said, "Going to the temple?" Even she knows we go often. When Daniel and I have gone on a date in jeans, my kids are confused as to why we are wearing jeans to the temple. Sometimes we just go to a movie.

We have a beautiful picture of the temple on our wall. It's a constant reminder that I want ALL of my family there. It would be easy (hah!) to just focus on going back when we have another baby sealed to us. But as Daniel and I have been feeling more like our family is done, we will have to wait a little longer before we are all in the temple together. I remember being in the temple with Daniel's family for his sister's wedding. His parents talked about having ALL of their children in the temple. I remember being in the temple with my family. My brother Aaron passed away several years ago. When Ruthie was sealed to us and as my brothers have married, ALL of my siblings were in the temple with my parents. What a tremendous Joy for parents to be in the temple with all of their children. And their children's spouses. I look forward to that day for my little family.

As for what I've learned...No matter when we will all be in the temple together, Daniel and I set a precedence. We go often, as we've been counseled. We talk about the temple as a family often. We visit temple grounds and talk about worthiness often. Our previous Bishop would always ask our kids during tithing settlement what blessings we have received as a family because of paying tithing. The answer is always-Being able to go to the temple. And being able to go to the temple, talking about the blessings of the temple, and going to the temple often, strengthens our eternal family! Oh my heart!

National Adoption Month 2010.

It's November. National Adoption Month. And I haven't written a thing about it. I have gone back and read what I wrote last November. Holy Super Writing Batman! Since I don't feel particularly sassy and stuff at the moment, I thought I'd share something that has been on my mind the past few days.

As we come to almost 5 years since beginning the process, I have been feeling an urgency to write down all the things I've learned. My list is several pages long and I just barely started. So I thought I might just take a moment a few times this month and share just a peak of what I've learned with you.
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I have developed a great testimony of the Law of the Fast. Fasting in our church is done on a monthly basis, on the first Sunday of the month. We Fast other times as well. But let me go back just a bit.

When I was diagnosed with Diabetes, the first thing my sister Katie said to me when I got home from the hospital was, "You are so lucky! You never have to Fast again!" And so I stuck with it. I never have to Fast. And for 27 years I have been proud and unabashed and downright obnoxious about Fasting. Neener neener neener! I don't have to Faaaast! But YOU do! Neener neener neener! Yep. Totally obnoxious.

A bit over a year ago, Daniel and I were in the temple. I go to the temple often with adoption on my mind and in my heart. This particular visit was no different. I needed direction from the Lord on what to do next. It came very clearly. We needed to invite our families to join us in a family Fast. But it didn't stop there. We needed to do it quickly! Urgently! The following Sunday. And not just Fast for us, but for our birth mom. And some specifics were laid out in that regard. Wow. I was a little stunned sitting there in the temple and being directed to have a family Fast. Didn't He know I sneered at the thought usually? Of course He did. But here's where He is (always) so much smarter than I.

I told Daniel when we met in the Celestial room. He agreed. So we contacted our families and invited them with the specific instructions I was given. You wouldn't believe the responses we got in return. Although you may. Because you aren't a sneerer like me! My favorite and the one that brought a flash of tears to my eyes was my brother in law Clark. "We join with you gladly!" Oh my heart.

We Fasted. We really Fasted. And prayed. And prayed some more. We Fasted for us. We prayed and Fasted for our birth mom and all that she would be facing. It was powerful. Truly a powerful day. I could feel the strength of family. I could feel the strength of the Fast. I was humbled and I was being taught.

My heart was softened and the Lord taught me a powerful lesson that week. The Law of the Fast is essential to me. Even if I can't skip a meal. I can fully participate in the Fast and I can reap the blessings associated with fasting. One thing I have learned during this process is that I now have a deep, strong and steadfast testimony of Fasting and its power in my life.

Hello From The Land Of Poo.

"Where are we? We are in the land of poo. Duck poo, cow poo, goat poo."

Nanny McPhee Returns

("Nanny McPhee. Little c big p.")

And so here we are. And every day there is even more poo. But the grass will be greatly fertilized! Right?!

These thangs got Oreo up the steps to feed her some feed. She doesn't know how to do steps. And with her back end getting bigger and heavier (kid!) we decided not to get Oreo and Blackjack up the steps.

Cass, on the other hand, comes up all the time!

Blackjack and Oreo follow the kids as soon as they come out. They know something good will come. I send apple halves out with them once a day.

But where is Mama Cass?

Hiding under the tramp. She still has trust issues.

But she's getting better.

Look at that! She is eating out of Sam's hand.

Definitely getting better.

That's all for now from the Land of Poo.

And if you haven't yet seen Nanny McPhee Returns, see it!