And I thought I Was Okay.

But apparently I wasn't. I have been keeping busy and have had many little reminders that we are on the right path leading to the rest of our family. I have an incredible family and we are all healthy and happy. We do lots of fun things and have just put baby stuff out of mind. At least that was the plan until after Christmas.

Last night we went to Daniel's parents' house for a special FHE while his sister Lisa was here from Colorado. It was so nice. We were late because Daniel has a super long commute and had to eat dinner, so we missed the piano performances. But we got to visit and watch a beautiful DVD that Daniel's sister Shelba and her hubby made for their parents' 50th anniversary. Which was a little while ago. It was amazing!

Then we got to visit with Santa (grandpa). And, of course, I had forgotten my camera. Duh! But as we were getting ready to leave, Daniel's sister Jennifer asked how I was. And she was asking sincerely and with her heart. So I told her it was hard and then I cried. I have had people ask me before how the adoption is going. While I have answered, and guarded my heart, they sometimes would be easily distracted by something far more interesting than me. So I continue to guard my heart. But a genuine interest breaks down that wall and I let my emotions go. I don't do it very often. But Jennifer's pure interest in ME did it. We talked for a few minutes more until I really needed to go. I cried on the way home and when Daniel was cuddling me, I told him that I had thought that I was okay. But I'm not. Well, I am. But I'm not. I know it doesn't make sense. But I get it. And that's what matters.

On a happier note, Daniel's sister Marylynne gave us some corn nuts. Oh the memories. Corn nuts. We used to walk to the Quick Stop when we were kids and buy cheap treats. Like Lemon Heads, Boston Baked Beans and Sixlets. Yummy. For like .10 cents a box. (I feel so old) I remember wanting to get corn nuts. My dad would get them and I thought they were awesome. I tell ya, I always felt a little skanky buying corn nuts. I have no idea why! Seriously. To me, it almost felt like a sin to buy them. Weird, I know. But last night...I got some corn nuts. I still feel a little skanky. But I am eating them. Just don't ask me about them at church!