This one is hard to write. September 13 is our Lid anniversary for Sarajune. It means we have been officially waiting for her for 3 years! How long is 3 years? Some people can have 3 children in 3 years. Teenagers get through all of their high school education (at least here in Utah) in 3 years. Children go from 6, 4 and 3 years old, perfect for adding a little sister, to 9, 7 and 6 years old. Mom and dad get 3 years closer to 40 years old. Children ask more times than one can count when Sarajune is coming and why is it taking so long. Mom becomes so numb to the wait that she is amazed at how acute the pain is to still have empty arms. Dad wonders if he will ever be able to hold his new daughter to give her a name and a blessing and enjoy having another little girl adore him.
3 years is a long time.
A really long time.
Even with another opportunity to adopt domestically, China has been our long time dream. To go back to the Great Wall. To eat real Chinese food again. To smell the smells of China, even though they make my tummy turn. To go back and enjoy where Ruthie was born and really enjoy the sights and sounds. To go and be united with Sarajune.
We don't know when we will go to China. We may not ever go. We still say we have about 2-3 years more to wait. I think it's optimistic.
We have an opportunity to do some fun traveling in the early summer with Daniel's siblings, their spouses and his parents. I started out a little uptight about the whole thing. Why? Because of how easy it is to plan an adventure like this and have all the details squared away when I don't have any control over when I will have a baby. It really sucks. But. I am starting to get excited about the opportunity. If we have a baby before then, we won't be able to go. So. I am getting more and more excited to go. Maybe we won't get to go.
4 comments:
I can't imagine what it's like to wait that long + more. I admire you and your family and how much you all stay strong and never give up hope of your babies. They will be here when they need to be. I hope you can find a way to have your vacation too. That would be a fun time!!
Oh I hope you don't get to go travel next summer too!
3 years IS a long time. I'm so sorry for the acute pain that you are feeling today. We all know it's in Heavenly Father's hands, but that doesn't make the waiting any easier. Sometimes it's even more frustrating. I'm sorry.
Oh man - your LID slipped my mind this year- I am soooooo sorry! Which also means that my LID has also slipped my mind - I guess I have given up or am somewhat resigned with the whole situation. Truth be told - I am very, very happy with Miss Mila (and so too you will be with James or Mary) that- perhaps the 13th of September (or the 20th in my case) will not be so hard. Hang in there (and tell Daniel I am closer to 40 than he is :)
Also- I had a work trip planned to Jacksonville Florida the week I picked up Mila.....you never know. And- hey - she is way worth the cancellation fees and all that goes with changing travel plans. We are using the travel voucher to visit friends.....together....it does all work out in the end.
Hey, I am right there with you! It has been extremely hard this month. Hope things smoothe out soon for all of us and we will be able to see some light at the end of the tunnel...
Post a Comment