Once Upon A Time... Part 1

There I was, 27 years old and single. Normally, in any other place in the world, it wouldn't be a problem. In fact, no one would even notice. But here in Utah, Mormonland galore, where your average blond, thin, permed, white toothed beauty wouldn't think of being single beyond 17...oops, I mean 22, I was a stand out. I was a beacon of what you don't want your daughter to experience. But the thing is, I was cute, I had personality, I had accomplished a few things, and I had freckles! I just wasn't married. I dated a bit. Not overly. Why waste my time?! That's what it all came down to...wasting my precious time. One thing you learn as you get older in a youthful marriageable carnival, is that the reason these older guys weren't married yet is because there is a serious reason! Trust me! Follow me on this journey and you'll get a glimpse at the abnormalities I came upon and then the love I came upon when Jupiter aligned with Mars and the stars were suddenly in motion.

I was working at Discover Card as a collector. Wow. Not that interesting. I had been working there for 4 1/2 years and was tired of collecting from little old ladies who couldn't pay their bills. I was serving in a singles ward as a Gospel Doctrine teacher and Choir director and enjoying my ward quite a bit. I had traveled with a couple of friends on a cruise to the Caribbean, another friend to Acapulco and then to San Fransisco to see Phantom of the Opera, and with my friend, Jodie, to So Cal to go to Disneyland and Catalina Island. It was Jodie who got me into the bit of trouble that follows.

She had started dating a guy who she was really falling for fast. After going out a few times, she told me he had a brother who was just older than I was and had some questions about the church. She thought it would be a good idea for me to meet him and answer his questions since I had served a mission. Then she got this little burr about me needing to just go on a date with him. So I agreed. He and Jodie decided we would meet in the parking lot of a local grocery store on a Sunday night. Jodie and I would drive together and scout out his car in a particular spot in the lot. (Does this seem creepy so far?) She picked me up and off we went. He was right where he said he'd be. He got out and introduced himself. Ken. I don't remember his last name, and I hadn't remembered his first name until Daniel said, "His name was Ken!" He was very nice and we made a date to meet again in a short time. I don't think we did anything that night but be introduced. He did bring a box full of apples for me. I don't know if he went out and picked them that day or what. It was nice. Ok, it was weird.

We went out a few times. Our first date was a double date with his brother and Jodie. But he wouldn't tell me what. He said to dress up. Hmmm, formal attire? High heels or flats? Hair up or down? Wait, I had short hair. Churchy or slacks? What to wear, what to wear. I hated this part of dating almost more than the actual yucky dates. I wore a broomstick skirt and blouse. He picked me up dressed a bit more casual. His brother and Jodie were casual, too. What exactly is this? A test of some kind? His brother drove his truck and we went to TGIFriday's for dinner. I was the best dressed one there!

After dinner, Jodie, the brother and I got in the truck and Ken disappeared. Now, this just seemed like a small inconvenience. I think he saw a friend of his in the restaurant and went back in to talk to him. (This will be a constant theme in the course of our dating relationship...disappearing, friends to meet...) Considering none of them would tell me what we were doing after dinner, I figured the longer he took, the better! It was weird even being with my friend in the truck. Uncomfy silences.....

He finally came back and we left. We went into Salt Lake and drove into what I was thinking was quite possibly a dangerous part of town. They were all excited, though, so I thought positive thoughts! Then we were parking. There were a whole lot of Town cars and Caddy's... You know, old people cars. I guess they figured this was a good time to let me in on it. Dancing!

I don't dance! But he looked so excited about it. We went in and it was an old people dance...thus the cars in the parking lot. Seriously old people. I remember not being able to breathe for a minute or two. Old people smell funny. And they smell even funnier when they sweat to Big Band music. We sat for awhile, then he asked me to dance. Ok. I'm a good sport. We actually had fun dancing. I smiled a little, I think. We switched partners and I danced with the brother. He didn't talk. Jodie and Ken looked animated, though. What were they talking about? I will never know! That's pretty much all of our first date. Hmm. They all dropped me off and Ken asked if I would go out again. I figured it would be ok. Maybe he would ask me those church questions and I could say no the next time. We shall see.

So here is where I leave you on this lovely day. Until next time...