Thursday, August 19, 2010

My Anxieties Are Cooler Than Yours.

I'm gonna share my latest anxieties with you. Or whatever it is. I dreamt 2 nights ago that I went out to get in my van and there was a car jammed into the front of it. My front tire was gone and the engine was in the driver's seat. I ran into the house and told Daniel. Then we had to track down who did it. But I kept thinking, “Let's just get another car.” But we found the guy who then started to fix it. He was actually fixing it. The problem is, he didn't fix the back of the van. Anxiety.

Last night I woke up to go, um, potty, and checked my blood and went to get something to eat. It was low. I love how my body wakes me when that happens. Although I am really tired right now. So I turned on the TV because chocolate cake seems to keep me awake.

I flipped through channels and guess what I learned?? Fox 13 news at 9 is on at 1:00 AM. So I caught the last bit of yesterday's news. For some reason, those Fox 13 people make more sense to me at 1 AM with chocolate cake in my system. Usually they remind me of high school.

Then when that was over. At 2:00 AM. I flipped around some more. I found Martha Stewart. Wow. I thought she was dead. Or something. Wait! She was in prison, right? She had some girl on who I didn't recognize. After all, it's now 2 AM and the chocolate cake is dissipating. But this gal had some funny stuff which I can't remember now. But one thing stuck.

TP. You know, toilet paper. Do you put the roll on with the TP coming over the top, or underneath? 80% of their audience does it on top. That means 20% put it underneath. Or don't use TP. They didn't qualify that. We use TP here at our house. But it made me do I restock TP?

Here it is. Before I had children I put the TP over the top. I made sure of it every time. But there were only 2 of us, so I didn't have to replace very often. Then the children came. Who invited them?? Oh yeah, we did. And we love them!! But they do funny things with TP. Like unroll the whole roll. Into the toilet. Then flush it. Along with toys and stuff. Or they unroll it while walking through the house. Or wipe noses on the whole roll they just unrolled. And of course that's all before they actually start using TP for the purpose for which it was created.

Then comes potty training. Yeesh! And more creative things get done with TP. Like wiping without ripping it off the roll. Or peeing and then unrolling TP into the potty. And the pee seeps up the roll. Or or or...I could go on. But potty and stuff are, well, a necessary part of life. Everyone does it. But it's gross. So let's get back to the TP, shall we?

I put the TP underneath now. It helps with the ability to unroll easily. Otherwise we go through TP like wildfire in dry grass on a hot summer day. But we still go through it. They find ways. It's been used more creatively though. As wrapping for mummies. As blankets for baby dolls. As a table cloth. As head wrapping when injured. As a trail to find their way home. As a quick cleaner upper when something spills. Creative. I'm tellin' ya!

So my question for you is this. Do you put your TP on over the top? Or underneath? Do you use TP? And then answer me this. Do you crease the corners of the TP when you put it on the roll?

I need to go put my anxiety down for a nap now!

Thank you very much.


Kates said...

Wow! Your brain needs a vacation! I put the toilet paper over the roll. Sean doesn't put it on the rolly thingy at all, the roll of TP just sits on top. I could put it back on the roller thing but he would take it off every time. I gave up years ago trying to keep it on properly.

Single Women Adopting Children said...

I have always thought thought this question was/is interesting because really- I do not know! I just put it one -regardless of how it rolls.I am just thankful it's up therE

Crissy said...

Ummm, tell you the truth I never gave it that much thought. I like it to underneath, but then Shane likes it to go over the top and get's upset when I make it go the other way?!! I have no idea why. I don't think it even makes it on the roller half the time, LOL!

Kim said...

YOU are hilarious! That is awesome that your body wakes you up when you need food.

I like the TP to go over the top. No - I do not crease the corners, I don't have time for such fanciness. It's tp. We know what to use it for. The use isn't fancy, not creased corners required.