I Know You Can Do This.

When I was 12, I was in the hospital for 5 days after being diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. I had to learn to give myself shots, test my blood and learn how to stay healthy. It was tough. I cried a lot. I didn't like that I had to keep giving myself shots. It hurt.

One day, my dad came by himself to visit me. I was really struggling and was crying. My dad sat next to my bed and said something that I have thought of as a great life lesson. With tears in his eyes, he said, “Jennie, I wish I could take this from you and do it myself. If I could do it for you, I would. But Heavenly Father knows you can do this. He knows you will be a stronger person because of it. He knows you will grow and be able to help others because of this experience. I love you. You can do this.”

We sat and cried. It really wasn't what I thought I needed then. I really would have liked for him to just take it from me. But as I have grown and matured and had some super duper struggles, I have come to appreciate what he told me that day. Especially right now.

Daniel and I have been struggling with the adoptions. We have been waiting for what seems a lifetime for our family to grow again. I find myself falling apart at the seams at the most inconvenient times. It's like I have no control over my emotions. And it's difficult to explain to other people the sting of having empty arms.

Daniel and I have been praying and fasting and going to the temple a lot lately with adoption on our minds. We know we need to do more for our cause. We have to advocate for ourselves. We have to do what would normally be extremely uncomfortable for us. And we are okay with that. It's been amazing to receive the guidance we need to move forward. We know we can do it!

We will be sharing some of those things with you. We will be asking for your help. We will be anxiously engaged in finding our birthmom and completing our family.

When things seem to be at their worst. When we think we just can't do it anymore, help comes. I can hear my Heavenly Father saying, “Jennie, I wish I could take this from you and do it myself. If I could do it for you, I would. But I know you can do this. I know you will be a stronger person because of it. I know you will grow and be able to help others because of this experience. I love you. I know you can do this.”

I can. We can. We will. I have Daniel behind me, pushing and loving and never stopping his amazing care of me and our kids. I have the Lord behind me, pushing me, loving me and never stopping His amazing care of me and my family. We are in good hands. One scripture I found last week is now on my wall next to my bed. I read it several times every day.

“Verily, verily, I say unto you, ye are little children, and ye have not as yet understood how great blessings the Father hath in his own hands and prepared for you;

And ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. The Kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity are yours.
And he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto [you], even an hundred fold, yea, more.”

Doctrine & Covenants 78:17-19

Daniel and I have seen blessings come in droves. I know we will continue to see blessings come. We will eventually have our sweet baby (or babies!) in our arms.

We are blessed.