Therapy

I was on the phone last week with a friend of mine. And little did she know, it was a therapy session for me. That's usually what phone calls are for me. I'm a SAHM, you know. My world revolves around little people and housework and homework. The adult phone time is precious.

Anyhoo, we were talking adoption. That is one of the things we talk about. We are in the same travel group for our China adoption. In the summer, we go to the mall for the dollar movies with our kiddos and then have face to face therapy while our kids play in the germ infected play area. It is so worth it!!

I can't really tell you all that we talked about. One reason is I don't necessarily remember what we talked about specifically. The other reason is I'm not ready for that kind of commitment to you all. I love you, but I need some boundaries!

So this is what I've been thinking since getting off the phone. Talking about adoption is a very different thing for each person involved. I find it very easy to talk about! Very! Almost too easy. Some people don't talk about the adoption of their child at all. Ever. I realize that I need to be more reserved about Ruthie's adoption now because she is getting old enough to know I'm talking about her very personal history! But the personal info aside, I still love to talk adoption. I still love to share My Personal Feelings about it. But I feel I need to set some rules for myself. Here they are. Just off the top of my head and just basic with no real commitment until I am confronted with talking to someone (refer to #6).

1. Ruthie's story is hers. I will talk to her about her story and what parts of her story I can share with others. She knows her story backward and forward. She would probably be the first to tell you her story.

2. When I do the CNY production for my kids' school classes, I will no longer merge our trip and information about CNY with the reason we were there...Ruthie's adoption. I will no longer be using the pictures from our trip with her in them. She is very grateful about this. She said this last time she was a little emabarassed. I could tell.

3. When I do talk about adoption, I will still be so willing to talk about it. I will share details that don't involve Ruthie directly. Or my other children, for that matter.

4. I don't always want to talk about adoption. Or at least the wait that is reaching its 2 1/2 year mark this week. There are moments, days and entire chunks of time that I don't want to talk about it. I hope you will understand if I say, "I'm sorry, I can't talk about it right now" when you ask me at one of those moments, days or chunks of time about our adoption.

5. I will ALWAYS love adoption. I will ALWAYS be an advocate for adoption. I will ALWAYS be eternally grateful for those who make sacrifices so that families can be created. I will ALWAYS be grateful for the love and support and prayers of so many in our behalf.

6. This is a journey that many people I know have never made. Sometimes I want to scratch a person's eyeballs out because of a remark or question or even a look on their face. This rule is that I promise to never scratch anyone's eyeballs out. I promise!!! Well, I'll try.