Heritage

This is a very important post to me. It takes on inheritance, lineage, heritage. Many may not agree with me. In fact I don't agree with many on this issue. I wanted to share my thoughts and feelings as they pertain to me, my family and my posterity. If you disagree, please do so respectfully. I am aware of differences in opinion.

Being a family has so many layers. 2 people meet. They fall in love. They get married. They have a baby. Grandmas and Grandpas come to see the baby. Aunts and uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews and so many other relatives come to see. “Look, he has grandpa Joe's chin” “Hey, her eyes are the same color as aunt Mary's” “Boy, feel that grip, he'll be a wrestler like cousin Tim” “She has a beautiful voice, I'll bet she can sing like great grandma Lou” That baby has joined a great throng of heritage. Of inheritance. Of lineage. It's powerful stuff.

I remember looking at my boys' fingers when they were born. We could see that they had “inherited” their dad's rounded pinky. Isaac has freckles that he inherited from me. Sam has eyes like his dad's. The list could go on and on....

When a child is adopted, there could be a sense of loss when you look at physical attributes, inherited talents and abilities. And skin color may be so different, that there is no hiding the fact that your child didn't “inherit” it from you. But when you look at what adoption means, what it entails in detail, you can see how the physical things pale in comparison to so many other rich inheritances. Just because a child didn't come from your body, doesn't mean a whole lot in the eternal scheme of things.

When I married Daniel, I inherited a rich heritage. A line of great people who did great things. One of those things was just producing an incredible man for me to marry. Selfish, I know. And Daniel inherited a rich heritage when he married me. Including, of course, a wonderful woman for him to marry. Our lives intermingle. We share heritage, inheritance and we will create a posterity together. And we were never related by blood! Imagine that!

When we have kids, whether biologically or through adoption, we must look at them as individuals. Look at any family with biological children. Are they all created the exact same? Do they all have the same loves and interests as both parents? I would bet that there are sons who don't love baseball like dad does. I would bet that there are daughters who don't like sewing like mom does. In fact, I would bet that there are so many distinct personalities in each family, that if pressed, you would agree that DNA doesn't make a son or daughter. Each member of a family is a person. An individual. Unique.

When we adopted, we knew, we knew! (yes, I know I repeated myself) that she was an heir to all that we are together. Just like our biological kiddos. Our hair color could even match if I wanted to do that. But that isn't what makes her our daughter. It's a pure love. An eternal goal. A rich heritage. All that she has gained by joining our family. All that we have gained by her joining our family. I don't worry about when a pedigree chart is passed out at school or church. Ruthie knows who her grandparents are. She knows who her aunts, uncles, cousins, great great great great great not so great great great grandwhosies are. How? Because she is our daughter. My heritage became hers when she became my daughter. Hey, Isaac inherited my heritage when he became my son!

Pedigree charts and family trees combine when 2 people meet and join their lives together. Why should it be any different when a child joins that union? It shouldn't. We don't discount Ruthie's rich heritage as a Chinese born American. But that isn't all of who she is. She is Ruthann. And she is my daughter. And she, just like her brothers, has a rich heritage. A magnificent inheritace. An awesome lineage. And she is part of my posterity. She is my daughter.